Vice UK

Riyadh - Saudi Road Skating

You might think that growing up in a country that didn't get around to outlawing slavery until the 60s and where even thinking about getting into a girl's abaya will land you a round of public lashings (and her death) would temper a young man's wild streak. However, as this new Saudi fad attests, when you let a whole nation's worth of pent-up testosterone bake in the hot Arab sun it leads to forms of teen rebellion that make Western kids look like they're still hocking buckeyes at the town farmer's prize milkin'-cow. Even their national aggro-driving has got a leg-up on ours.

Winners so far - Only Two

Since the inception of the DOs & DON'Ts more than 10 years ago there have been approximately TWO comments that are better than the original captions. We call these "Winning Comments," and they can be seen here and here.

Is that all you got?
 

Nipple Quibble

Recently after performing on a stage, attempting 'comedy', I asked a couple of male buddies in the class for some feedback. Feedback was thus: "Can't tell you much dude. Didn't hear a word you said as I was staring at your erect nipples the whole time."

Now whilst I didn't appreciate the objectification (well maybe a little bit), I did appreciate the frank discussion that followed. Ladies, this just in: apparently men are concerned when nipples aren't in their erect state ...

Bird Dances

We reported on the dance craze called “Bird Flu” a little while back and forecasted the coming of more animal / disease-related dances. Here’s another one that some Grime kids invented about the dubious joys of eating fried chicken from places called things like Tennesse Fried Chicken Hut Express and Excellent Texas Chicken Palace.

London - Dwarves and parties

Every week we send VICE staff out to interview people about the pressing issues of the day. This week, Professor Stephen Hawking told students in China that the earth was about to die and that the only way we could hope to further the human species was to explore space. We asked this gentleman what his views were on this subject and somehow the interview deteriorated into this.

Plus: Click here for Pegah's fabulous life on the second rung of the London party ladder.

New York - Interview With Sarah Silverman Part 2

Here's Sarah asleep on the couch in Jimmy Kimmel’s dressing room. Kimmel writer Steve Agee made a penis out of fruit because he is immature.

New York - Interview With Sarah Silverman Part 1

Sarah Silverman (the hot chick from Mr. Show) has always been a loser. She grew up as the only Jew in New Hampshire and that made her legs seem super hairy her whole childhood. Then she went to NYU and things started to look up but then—fart—she discovered she was allergic to booze. Then she went to L.A. to become a movie star, but was told she was too Jewy (unlike Winona Horowitz who made it rich as Winona Ryder). As of this year, however, things have finally started to look up. Her stand-up routine became a movie called Jesus is Magic and all that led to her own show. Who’s laughing now, you New Hampshire goy cocksuckers!

NEW YORK - PRANKS

There's been a pretty good run of pranks around lately. We noticed this little corker about a week ago just a few minutes before payoff. It looked kind of cutesy and whatever at first, but then the owner showed up and started spazzing out int he middle of the sidewalk, which made it worthwhile. THEN once he'd stopped sputtering "garblegarblemotherfuckers," he went to unchain his ride and the whole thing came crashing down on him without warning. We aren't really sure if this was factored into the original setup or just the result of the bike owner's poor handling of the situation, but oh was it the icing on an already delicious prankcake.

LONDON - KEVIN SHIELDS CURES BRIAN WILSON

From our UK Editor, Andy: I was sleeping on the couch in a flat above The Old Blue Last recently when I ran into Kevin Shields, (elusive musical genius, ex of My Bloody Valentine.) He's there on the left. The dude who is smiling is a miserable cunt called John. Anyway, he told me a really cute story...

WARNING: This is only cute if you like Beach Boys or My Bloody Valentine.

NEW YORK - QUOTES

This spring has been phenomenal for quotes. Not sure why. Here’s a brief list:

“You’re on Schindler’s shitlist.” - TV Carnage’s Big Pinky

“Fingering a girl like this is [moves fingers like an upside down jogger] is called ‘The Lionel Richie.’ Get it? You’re dancing on the ceiling.” - Anon.

[After slapping a cigarette out of a guy’s mouth] “Why don’t you die the old fashioned way, like AIDS. - The Longbranch Inn’s Jim Stockbauer