Vice UK

London – Babble capital

Gone are the days when boozed-up Britain piled out of the pub at last orders and started scrapping with each other. These days they're queuing outside loos, killing their beer buzz on bad blow, and earnestly jabbering bollocks until they collapse into a twitching puddle of self-loathing. It's been one year since 24-hour drinking was introduced to the UK and police are saying incidences of alcohol-fuelled violence have dropped. But new statistics show that cocaine consumption has exploded and London has become the coke capital of Europe...

Melbourne – Rave To The Grave

It’s entirely understandable that you should feel fatigued while partying. You’ve more than likely been up for 35 hours and it’s exhausting stuff remaining charismatic while still keeping up with the 1,200 beats per minute. There’s nothing better though than when you push through the tiredness, like a trooper, and come out the other end with a victorious second wind that can keep you going for another eight hours. Shit, it’s always worth a go. Or, you could bow out while you still have an ounce of decorum left. You decide.

London ­- Going To Ridiculous Lengths

Last night, I went to a party in the West End organized by a company that makes clothes. There was a lot of free drink but I'm on the wagon at the moment so coming to terms with being around friends who are nailed to the cross of booze was pretty gruelling. One way of dealing with the tedium of listening to them blather on about nothing is to make trips to the bathroom, which last night certainly, gave me a better insight into the ways of the world than having somebody shout into my ear about how they strangled their ex-boyfriend...

New York - WoW Addictions

What's more pathetic? Being addicted to drugs and alcohol, or World of Warcraft? You can probably have more sex while on drugs. But the only title you get is “junkie,” while in WoW you can be reffered to as “Thorir, Slayer of Ogres,” or “Blade, Strangler of Mountain Beasts,” which sounds kind of badass. On the other hand, giving up drugs and alcohol really takes courage—going to Christian-themed meetings and rehab, completely abstaining from the drug, integrating into a completely different scene. WoW rehab consists of joining an internet community ...to get over your internet community? So, spending lots of time on the computer talking to people about how you don't want to be on the computer anymore. Slayers of Ogres my ass...what a bunch of pussies.

New York - Are the Kids Alright?

We spotted this payload on our way to work this morning. Having waded through a veritable sea of melted liquor minibottles and scorched apples the past ten or so Monday mornings, we were ready to just be like, "Oh, drugs," and press on without a second glance. But then we did take a second glance and entered a world of cultural bafflement previously accessible only to illiterates and bushmen.

Have a good look at those bottles: No burn marks, no resin, only one hole. Are kids that stoked about fucking ginseng that they'll take the time to punch a straw through the little metal bottle cap? Three times?! What happened to downing robitussin or whipping rocks at the mail man, or something that makes one lick of fucking sense? Maybe they thought it would get them high--or they were already on drugs? Seriously, this one's really eating at us.

BERLIN - SUBWAY CENTRE OF STRANGE

Last week we were riding the U-Bahn back from a party when we stumbled across this dude who was suffering from a particularly sour cosmic vibe. Taking LSD and riding the subway may seem like a great idea when you're high. But unfortunately the other passengers are never as keen to board your love train to another dimension where happiness is free and animals sing odes to the summer. They're just trying to get home. This clash of worlds results in a one-way ticket to the dark place where you have to shake your head to get rid of the bad karma clouds polluting your brain...

NEW ZEALAND - PARANOIA

Since we've set up office in Auckland NZ we've been keeping an eye on this suspicious looking building directly across the road. It used to be a car racing shop thingy where they sold stuff to make your car sound like it had a sniffy nose and those deep seats which make you look two feet tall. Anyway, they moved out and then the new guys moved in. They gutted the insides, installed a beefy roller security door and put up what was initially a Computer Repairs sign...half of which blew down weeks ago and was never put up again. In the last three months that I've been snooping I haven't seen a single computer go in there for repair and the same three people are lurking around at all hours of the day and night, an Asian lady and two young men. So they're either filming low budget Kiwi porn or brewing the other Kiwi obsession, meth. I've got my money on the latter. Hopefully.

LONDON - ADDERALL

FINALLY it's happening. Drug dealers are selling Adderall in Britain.

Previously only available by prescription for people with ADD or for Hollywood actors who party too much and need to be "on point" during 17-hour shoots on shitty movies for 6 months a year, British dealers are now doling it out for like £20 for 20. Which is a LOW fucking price.

For those of you who don't know, Adderall gives a super pure, speedy, cocaine-y vibe but without the madness, confusion, irrational behaviour and lame third album (if you're a musicican).