VBS - HI SHRED AND EPICLY LATER'D ON TELEVISION

Not to suggest that they're mutually exclusive, but if you have pay television and nothing better better to do this weekend, fuck it. Stay home and watch the broadcast debut of two of VBS.TV's most popular shows. Starting this Saturday, our skate programme Epicly Later'd and our surf culture show Hi Shred-Ability will be airing on Fuel TV.

TAKE THIS BLOG TO WORK - A MASCOT FOR THE WNBA IS A DOG, BUT ONLY ON THE OUTSIDE

You remember that last guy we interviewed, Greg, who had a lifetime of killer jobs rolled into one existence? We were hoping that finding one successful, super nice, multi-talented dude was just a fluke, and we could rely on the rest of the world to be like us, losers hardly working. Turns out, maybe the world is full of these success stories because we found another one. His name is Joe and besides owing a successful hardware store and creating a blossoming urban garden center, he runs around sidelines of WNBA games wearing a gigantic dog costume, pumping up crowds and turning on furries around the world!

NEW YORK - PLASTIC PERSON CHUCK GUARINO

Chuck Guarino is a rare breed in the fashion world: part jock, part rocker, all Jersey, he makes a living doing exactly what he wants. Pretty lucky motherfucker, no? He's one of those dudes who was too cool to be a total jock but too athletically inclined to sit still, so instead of football he turned to bodyboarding (after a brief childhood stint as a competitive rollerhockey player--we're talking roller skates, not rollerblades here). His t-shirt company, Plastic People, is now in its sixth year. 

NEW YORK - HEY REGULAR GUY, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THESE BOARDS?

 
Most skateboarders would agree that skateboards are radical to the max. But what do the people not involved in skateboarding think? “Why should I care?” I hear you say, and rightly so. Who cares? Who gives a heck what the ballerina thinks of boxing gloves? Or what the shark thinks of television? Who cares what the cat thinks of my haircut or the tilt of my penis? Who cares? No one cares. But the fact remains that I had to review these six decks without damaging them. They had to be in a resalable condition so I could move them on eBay. So in the interest of paying my rent, I went for a walk around the block and asked the general public what they think of these boards.

MEET THE NIERATKOS - SKATEBOARDING IS SO GAY RIGHT NOW

 

A few years ago my friends over at Lakai came up with a t-shirt that said: Skateboarding is So Hot Right Now! And at the time it was quite appropriate. Skateboarding was EVERYWHERE; from TV commercials to print ads for JCPenney. But just a few short years later skateboarding has gone from virgin to town whore with a gaping butthole. And Lakai’s phrase needs some updating. I'm thinking it should be Skateboarding is So Gay Right Now.

NEW YORK - RIVER RUMBLE

As Vice’s new self-proclaimed sports correspondent I knew it was my duty to cover the amateur boxing match of the century Thursday night. Let me tell you, it isn’t easy knowing next to nothing about sports and being a sports correspondent but I throw caution into the wind and do it anyways. I have chutzpah to spare. Truthfully, when one of the coaches threw water on his boxer and some hit my camera I squealed like a piglet that’s been stepped on and almost fell off my chair. I will not ruin my camera for sports!

NEW YORK - WAY TO GO, GUYS!

It’s been a few days since the VICE soccer team didn’t completely lose a tournament like usual and the guys won’t stop talking about it. I guess we’re all supposed to feel proud of them because in the six years these Bad News Bears have been playing, they weren’t knocked out of the running by getting creamed in their first game at the eighth annual Fanatic tournament at the Chelsea Waterside Park last Sunday. Let’s see how they made the magic happen…

NEW YORK - MARTHA'S VINEYARD SHARK TOURNAMENT

Last Saturday I was sprayed with shark blood in the name of sportsmanship and science. And money, too. The 23rd annual Martha's Vineyard Shark Tournament brought in 130 boats at $1,500 a piece from all over the east coast. Friday and Saturday they scooted 15 miles off shore to hook the monsters in hopes of attaining alluring prizes like another boat or cash. For the scientists that collect information and the shark's organs and 'nads, the tournament is a field day of data. Only two boats sunk on Friday due to the ten-foot seas, but Saturday was calmer and I documented the glory on shore in sunny Oak Bluffs, Massachusetts. 

FASHION ISSUE EXTRA - DUDES AND SPORTSWEAR

Bryan Clopton and his band Slow Horse are recording a new record in Kentucky right now. They took that opportunity to do a fashion shoot for us in Bryan's vintage football memorabilia.
There's no good reason why I started collecting NFL memorabilia. As a kid I would buy the plastic football helmets from quarter machines and size up the teams based on their logos. After the Giants beat the Patriots in last year's Super Bowl I was reminded how unpredictable and awesome football is. Not to get on any motivational bullshit, but their victory showed that if you really set your mind on something you can totally do it. Anyway, I think nearly all professional football teams have beautiful logos. All other professional sports logos pale in comparison. I have a theory that the aesthetics of professional football are largely responsible for their popularity. My personal favorite is the Buffalo Bills. I love their red white and blue. That buffalo with the action mark is hilarious.

GERMANY - GYM CANDY

To get these pecs this 21-year-old German jock didn't care that the steroids were shriveling his balls and ruining his sperm. But I doubt he's dealing too well with the horrific acne that broke out across his prized chest and left him permanently scarred. See photo (Warning: gross).