Sunday we took my wife’s retarded Uncle Lonnie to see a 60s cover band called The British Invasion Tribute Band at our local community center. Lonnie—or Lonald, as I often call him, or Lon Da Milan or Lonzie or Lonnie Bonnie Bo Bonnie—is a H-U-G-E Beatles fan. He knows every word to every song from every album. The Beatles are his shit. He’s kind of like the retarded version of John Cusack in High Fidelity.