SCREW MADE YOU

aa Thank JayCrayCray the 70's were so sleazy, fun, and depraved. If you've ever tried to grab a quick minute and shamelessly rummage through poor old mom and dad's stuff, chances are you have been gifted with at least one gloriously lewd, hairy, drugged-out sex artifact. You might find a decrepit half-joint in a John Denver album or one of those really giant, really loud-ass old vibrators that (compared to my glittery jelly purple device from Spencer's gifts) looks like a scary white truncheon made of a whale jaw. But thanks to my Dad's healthy sexual Scorpio curiosity, ransacking his attic recently was a historical adventure into the 70's when almost everybody was attending viewings of Deep Throat. I exhumed a dusty treasure stack of disintegrating Screw newsprint magazines that totally made the Playboy stack nearby look like a bunch of Newport News catalogs!

NEW YORK - GO TO OUR FILM ISSUE PARTY TONIGHT (UPDATE!)

The party for our Film Issue is tonight and if it's anything like the one for our last theme issue, which was all about photographs and people who shoot them, you will want to lissen up. We are holding a special contest for which the winner won't have to wait in line to get in. Whoever emails to this here address the best interview question for this guy (click for more) will get their name on the guest list and thus be able to breeze past everyone else who is scowling and complaining and trying to pull some scam in order to jump ahead. Just to be on the safe side, since there will only be one winner, you should still RSVP here though. UPDATE: Winner announced below.

LONDON - POP vs. LOVE

Fashion in the UK has been split in two. Over here you can't get much nearer to style's summit than new mega-zines LOVE (which is on its second issue) and the newly relaunched POP. The latest issues of both magazines came out within days of each other and everyone is trying to work out which is best. See, Katie Grand, editor of LOVE, used to edit POP, and when she left, rumour quickly spread that working for POP from now on meant you would be banned from working for LOVE. Now, only someone with truly enormous fashion balls or nothing to lose would be willing to risk a clash with Katie's untouchable in-crowd, so enter Katie's old boss and POP co-founder, Ashley Heath. Heath was forced out of POP by the corporate types years ago, and so being asked back to rescue the title must taste sweet.

US VS UK: LET'S SETTLE THIS

Hi. I basically hate everyone in and from the UK except for the few relatives who married into my family, about three friends, and Led Zeppelin (oh well, it's true). This includes some people in the UK VICE office, and at the top of my list used to be my fellow online editor Alex Miller, killer of deer and smasher of my productive work days. You may think we're all one big lovingly dysfunctional family around here, and usually we are, but every once in a while some nasty beef emerges from the molten pit of the earth that no amount of supervisor mediation can squash. That was a joke--you really think we have supervisor mediation around here? Andy Capper, who's Alex's boss, offered to set up a boxing ring for us if I wanted to come to London. When I found out Alex was coming to the States on one of his many leaves from office (how the fuck does that guy get so many vacation days?), I challenged him to an obstacle course. We really needed to settle, for once and for all, who was better: me or him, aka the US or the UK.

NEW YORK - WHO'S WEARING OUR HAND-ME-DOWNS

This month Hamilton Morris sizzled out the proverbial gate with his first column, an expose on Spice Gold. Then the Financial Times writes this (ours came out in print first, but they put theirs online before we did). About a month after we ran our story about the Welsh Virgin Suicides-like death craze, Vanity Fair comes out with a “web exclusive” on the very same thing. We know some people are needy these days, and we’re not one to make fun of have-nots. But the media at large isn’t supposed to be a charity case, taking ideas from some kind of donation bin. Last we checked, we weren't a soup kitchen.

MELBOURNE - MAGAZINES BASED ON LIES

Back in 2006 we put out an issue based entirely on lies. We called it the Verdad issue and ran a picture of someone jumping a giant Canyon on a push bike as the cover. We wrote stories about things like Muslim gangs selling crack in samosas on Brick Lane in East London, the discovery of a microchip which promised to put an end to theft, plus a group of progressive Rabbis who were giving reformed Jews the opportunity to reattach their long lost foreskins. We also did a ridiculous fashion shoot with people wearing t-shirts as neckerchiefs and scarfs as headbands, which other magazines started picking up on an people actually started wearing so we figure maybe not everyone got the gag.

We bring this up because last week The Melbourne Times (that free magazine which they’ve been delivering for the last 35 years to the doors of 100,000 homes and which normally makes its way directly from our letterbox directly into the rubbish bin) did their very own version of the Lies issue.

IF YOU'RE HORNY, LET'S DO IT. RIDE IT, MY PONY.

Our story about Pony the orangutan sex slave has garnered a lot of attention. One reader was left pondering the correct term for such  ape/human unions  (a humangutan, FYI). Another reader was intrigued by the guy who would have sex with a shaved Orangutang but draws the line at hairy one. And, maybe because they don't want to believe that mankind can stoop so low, some  still refuse to believe Pony's tragic story despite the YouTube footage  (skip to 12 mins 48 secs).

HALLOWEEN COSTUMES

Meryl Smith's "Me Giving Birth to Myself" costume is the funniest ensemble we've seen since that "Priest being blown by a boy" guy from years ago. She's definitely one of those types who take fancy dress super seriously and make everyone else look like they made no effort. I mean, would you spend twenty hours making a costume? What are your best/worst costume stories?

THE FEAR ISSUE

The Fear Issue has just started streaming online. We made four scary mask covers for it and if you don't collect them all, you don't really love Halloween. The cover artwork was done by Johnny Ryan, Milano Chow, David Choe and Jim Krewson.

FLATUPHILIC DELIGHT

It's funnier when girls fart. It just is. For some guys, a girl letting one rip confuses them in a sexy way. This is why La Peteuse (say it right: Peh-tuh-ze) is such a YouTube hit. Sometimes she concentrates on breaking wind like she's solving a Rubik's Cube. She can also be all blasé about her trumps like it ain't no thing. Learn more about farting fetishism in our interview with La Peteuse.