Sometimes an unexpected shit-facing happens and you are way past too drunk to lay down and sleep without the miserable circus music of your brain taking a swirly, jelly, clammy vibrating boat ride. But relief is just a throw up away. And it is sorta like masturbating, where you gotta procure the right image in your brain to successfully eject. Ham, in and of itself, works. It's so close to being human-y flavored and like licking a custardy dead baby.