Ryan McGinley’s new exhibit of cave photographs, some of which we featured in our Photo Issue, opens at Alison Jacques Gallery in London tonight and it’s already getting tons of accolades. People keep talking about the gorgeous colors and the masterly compositions, referencing Tom Sawyer’s “spirit of adventure” and Journey to the Center of the Earth, sprinkling biblical Jonah and the Whale references here and there, but what’s really baffling is that no one is stating the obvious: These are all pictures of vaginas. I mean, they’re caves. With all those surreal colors, they’re practically Georgia O’Keefe paintings. You don’t have to be a pervert, or Freud, or both, to see it.
This is a big red vag with a little man in it.
This is a big red vag with a little lady in it.
This is a big vagina with a penis in it. Nice.
Here's what you call a "vagina dentata," a vag with teeth. In psychoanalysis, this concept pertains to castration anxiety. It's kind of misogynistic, but it can be appropriated in a feminist way, like they did in the movie Teeth, which you should see if you like movies about rapists getting their dicks bitten off by a girl with a big set of chompers in her puss.
This one's the butthole.
Hmm, this is definitely a crack of some sort. Could be the front or the back.
Nature's dildo factory.
A big penis and the two kids are the balls.
A peeing vagina.
And finally, a photo that is so vagina-y, it even has a clitoris and some labes.
We could keep going, but we don't want to spoil all the surprises. It's a fun game for everyone to try. You can go to Tiny Vices to play the home version. Kudos to our favorite photographer, who somehow manages to make his landscapes more sexual than the little teeny nudes who occupy them.