BERLIN - IRON MAIDEN AND BROKEN LIVES

I actually don’t know much about Iron Maiden apart from the fact that the singer has got a terrible voice and they love to wear spandex. But today was striking, because it is a rare moment to actually see someone split up in public (OK, except for the celebrities) but it’s even more unusual when a die-hard fan splits from his favorite band, like ever, in public.

It is difficult to tell where the story started in the first place. Was it back then in the early 90s when a huge bunch of Iron Maiden CDs swamped the German market, or was it when Bruce Dickinson yelled at a crowd in Oslo that they "are not Metallica" and actually they should bootleg the shit out of the concert? Or was it when Iron Maiden decided to sue the shit out of those fans of theirs who tried to sell their bootleg discs?Either way, somehow it became a political topic. Remember the pirate party we wrote about not so long ago? They got jumbled up in this clusterfuck about shitty bootlegs of a band that is pretty much only good for hocking merch, and then this one German fan announced he would destroy ALL OF HIS Iron Maiden collection and send it to Bruce Dickinson’s Lawyer. That is, if they would really force him to pay the 100 Euro bill. They did force him to pay and I guess that could have been the end of this huge media/copyright/politics fuck-up, which would have only become boring at some point anyways, but then these pictures of a broken life dedicated to Iron Maden came out.

Totally intrigued by the idea of getting our hands on this huge collection of rubbish I decided to call Thomas Schlegel, the lawyer.

Vice: Hello, did the box already arrive?
Thomas Schlegel: Ehh, yes, indeed, it arrived. Why are you interested?

Well I just wanted to know what you are going to do with it.
We will dispose of it. I’ll have to ask again, why are you interested?

I just wanted to check if it would be possible to get a hold of the box. I would even pay for it.
No, we won’t sell the box. We actually want this topic finally to come to an end.

Yes, I see, but on the other hand… you could send me the box.
Why should we do that? It’s just a carton filled with ripped up videotapes and broken CDs—I really don’t get your point.

Well I actually want to sell the box on eBay. With all this media coverage around it I could definitely make some money.
What?!

So, if I sell the box with these broken Iron Maiden bootlegs would I actually have to pay a fee or get a scary letter from your office?
Actually everything sold with the name Iron Maiden on it is kind of a copyright violation, so from a legal point of view, yes. But on the other hand when you write down explicitly that it’s broken, then probably not.

So it’s about the name or the money or the quality of the music, or what?
I will end this conversation now. There has been so much fuss going on. I really want this to stop.

So I won’t get the box?
No.

FELIX NICKLAS

Comments

[AcreDemon]

Fuck Iron Maiden and fuck lawyers.

[taco baby]

from now on i will refuse to acknowledge the awesomeness of the iron maiden logo. i might think it but i'll never say it or agree with anyone. ever. this lawyer deserves a flaming bag of shit on his doorstep.

[Biff]

Thomas Schlegel is a Metallica fan and probably wants to slob on Lars' teeny, tiny, copyright-infringement-hating penis.

[hardyhar]

sell the box on ebay!! brilliant!

[jj]

maybe if you said you were from a church and you wanted to add it to your bonfire of all things satanic he would have sent it to you.

[Alex]

"I actually don’t know much about Iron Maiden apart from the fact that the singer has got a terrible voice"

Stopped reading here.

[Bob Manob]

Iron Maiden can suck it. Way to piss off your fans idiots. You should be flattered that people love your music. I mean the music is what it's all about right?

[Andy]

Iron Maiden has never been about music. They're about lame metal sterotypes. That is why they are awesome.

[eddie]

all comments sponsored by teenagers who have never listened to Iron Maiden.

[Spew]

You are all the ball lickers!

[Metalheadlady]

Not all teens are like that Eddie. (love the name by the way) im 13 and I love Maiden more than anything. I admit I don't always agree with Bruces rants and the like, but it sure beats anything else I know of. UP THE IRONS!