Yesterday the internet was having a bad day. It was tired and crabby and needed its diapey changed. So we put it to bed early and today's it's been on its best behavior, so now we're all set for Ron to tell this guy how to get his girlfriend to stop batting her eyes at everything wearing human flesh.
Hey Ron!
My girlfriend is great, and our relationship is going pretty well so far (we've been dating for about five months) but when she drinks she gets lippy and flirts with other guys (and sometimes girls). She assures me that she isn't cheating on me, but it still really bothers me. I believe her and I told her to stop doing it, but I don't think she's taking me seriously. I'd rather end it now than have to deal with this for months or years to come, but I know women do not like ultimatums. How can I put my foot down without shooting myself in it at the same time?
If you’ve only been dating for five months everything is still new. That means you should still be in the mode where you believe less of what a person says and more of what they do. When you’re drinking, what’s inside of you seems to come out. If you’re an angry person, drinking is just going to bring out your anger. If you’re a flirtatious person, drinking will bring out flirtatious gestures towards people. So maybe she really does go both ways. Do I really know her? No, not really.
Based on my experiences being out there (before I was married, of course) I’ve seen and been around a lot of things. I’d be more flirtatious when I used to drink like that because I figured I had nothing to lose when I’m drunk because I was hoping I wouldn’t remember it in the morning. I wouldn’t dump her if she’s worth it outside of her drinking. What you need to do is really have a sit-down talk with her. You can say, “I’m not giving you an ultimatum, but I’d like to know where this relationship is going. If you choose to continue this way, I don’t think it’s going to work. I’m not saying if you don’t stop, it’s over. I’m just saying that these are the choices we have. It’s not an ultimatum. This is where this could lead to something nice or, it could stop. It’s basically up to you.”
Then you’re at least giving her the opportunity to say, “You know what, I see your point.” And maybe if you can bring some of her friends around and show her how much of a knucklehead she is when she’s drunk, she’ll stop. It’s like an intervention. If her girlfriends say, “He’s kind of right. You’re flirtatious with me, and I’m your friend. So, I can only imagine you with someone else.”
Then she hopefully has to take a look at herself. If that doesn’t work dude, you have to drop the ball, bounce, and hit the high road. Be gone.
But you’re right about the ultimatum situation. Women hate it. I was too smart for that. I had an older sister and I learned a lot of tricks from her about how to treat women. I’m not saying it always worked, but for the most part I learned a lot of ins and outs. Have I been hurt? Yes, definitely. But I learned from that and I learned how to manipulate the situation. I learned to ask by not asking. I suggested a lot: “Hypothetically…” or “What do you think?” I always let women think that it’s their idea, because once it’s their idea whatever happens you can’t blame me because you suggested it. It’s subliminal.
Love,
Ron
Yep, we're still doing that t-shirt giveaway thing. Spill your guts here, and if we pick it you'll end up with a "Hey Ron!" t-shirt in your mailbox.
Uh... yeah. But if she's flirting with girls... hot girls, then I saw flirt away.
Posted by: Biff | 09/09/2009 at 23:04
maybe she just wants you to pay more attention to her. I used to flirt with people whenever I thought my boyfriend was being negligent. fuck, girls are so crazy.
Posted by: pollypocket | 09/09/2009 at 23:04
is it just me or does ron look like an oriental dungeon master in that shot?
Posted by: jj | 09/09/2009 at 23:19
pollypocket is right. and if she's flirting she could be ready to go, so get her home and naked.
Posted by: uly | 09/09/2009 at 23:20
If she's an idiot this advice should work well. Telling her it isn't an ultimatum doesn't change the fact that it is.
Posted by: Pickle Smoocher | 10/09/2009 at 00:15
Encourage her flirting with other guys, and if you see that she's willing to go further than you're comfortable with, then drop the ball. But if she stops and checks herself, you're fine.
Posted by: Richard Nixon | 10/09/2009 at 00:52
The word "flirting" is stupid. First you and your lady should decide if you have the same definition of the word and then decide TOGETHER how to keep you BOTH happy. DUH
Posted by: gay | 10/09/2009 at 01:07
This is the best part of my web-week.
Posted by: you funny | 10/09/2009 at 03:32
fuck yes i love hey ron!
Posted by: mmm | 10/09/2009 at 05:39
Once again, Ron comes through with some indelible words of wisdom. He's like the older brother i never had, dishing out great advice so i don't get played like a sucker.
Posted by: Jono | 10/09/2009 at 18:24
I want Ron to adopt me...
Posted by: Ramadan | 10/09/2009 at 18:59
Ron has been keeping it real since the beginning of HEY RON! Now I can go about my day with a smile on my face.
Posted by: Bob Manob | 10/09/2009 at 19:28
I have totally been in the same situation and it didnt end well. If shes not respecting you, walk away. If when she goes out and has a few drinks she pays more attention to other people and then switches back to paying attention to you when you're alone, shes just into you because its convienient. That was my experience anyway.
Posted by: Wes Abi | 11/09/2009 at 01:28
Hit on every hot piece of ass when you're with her that's standing around. Show her you don't give a fuck and she'll eventually be tied around your waist.
Posted by: Bob Manob | 11/09/2009 at 09:06
im not trying to hate on "hey ron", but if ur girl is getting drunk and flirting w/ dudes you have a problem. She def knows what shes doing, and even worse knows that you know. I would go with Richard NIxons answer and push her to see what she does
Posted by: justin | 22/09/2009 at 21:20
If you like to chat with hey Ron go to Hey_Ron at on tweeter
Posted by: Pharoh | 19/11/2009 at 14:33