I probably wouldn't like you, and there's a very good chance you wouldn't like me. I drink too much, and I'm not very nice. But it's fine!
I've only got one ball. I lost a ball skateboarding when I was really young.
I've got a great big dick though, so it's fine. I fucked my mate's sister a couple of weeks ago, in his bed. It was at his flat-warming party. She's really rad. I'd done all the foreplay stuff, and put my willy inside her, and I was really horny. It went like this:
Me: "Can I come inside you?"
Her: "What now?"
Me: "Oops. Never mind. Sorry."
Then I shat myself. I thought I needed the toilet so I put my jeans on and went to the toilet, and found a big ol' load of shit in there. I washed myself in the sink (there was no toilet paper) and got back into bed with her.
Things still seem to be fine. I think I love her.
Would you like a picture of my ball? I don't have one, but my mate Roddy (he's a prick too) could Bluetooth it to me. I can't get picture messages because my phone is stolen and when it got unlocked it lost the ability to send or receive picture messages. It still plays music. When we're sitting around drinking we listen to my phone. It's got a Scott Walker album on it, and that's the best drinking music.
P.S. I was only kidding when I said "fuck you" there.
Thanks for the offer, but actually we’re cool without a photo of your testicle. Actually, while we’re on the subject, please don’t send us a photo of your mate’s sister's shit-stained bed sheets either, or a photo of her looking sad after she spent a morning at the drug store buying an over-the-counter abortion so she wouldn’t have to have a bed-shitter’s baby. However, when your comeuppance does come a-knocking, and you have your offensive, borderline abusive self kicked to shit, possibly by the mate whose sister you shat all over, feel free to show us the picture of your broken nose and temporary catheter.