It was by chance that we stumbled across a rumor of Colombian kids following a silly new trend. When they’re not in school they’re shoving vodka-drenched tampons up their buttholes. We have no idea how they came up with this horrific plan in the first place or why anyone should ever want to do this, but the teenagers in Colombia insist on its effectiveness. The alcohol shoots straight into your bloodstream and gives you an instant high, and supposedly this method protects you from smelling like a drunk. Here is Berlin intern Kolja and he shoved this rumor. Up his ass.
To get the full experience you need the following items:
-Some kind of lube
-Vodka
-A tampon
-An anus
Arranging the essential items in a pretty way is definitely a good start.
Kolja started out farting for like half an hour because he was afraid he’d end up shitting his pants. Then we aired the room and pampered his butt with Nivea. We decided to use an OB mini tampon, which gracefully absorbed the vodka.
Kolja described the sensation of insertion as being similar to “pushing a globefish up his rectum.” We have no idea how he came up with this comparison.
During this critical point of full insertion Kolja really had to hold his act together so he wouldn’t start shitting like a machine gun. He also informed us that the “blowfish starts to feel kinda tingly.”
Obviously Kolja’s butthole must have been very, very thirsty because when we asked him to walk a straight line after ten minutes of ass-orption he miserably failed, swaying around like a 13-year old girl after her first beer. That was the moment when Kolja thought about how amazing it would have been to grow up in Colombia. A little bit later he added that his asshole was “damn tight.”
We asked Kolja to count backward from 20, but when he reached “37” we aborted the test. A couple minutes after that he thought he really had to puke, but then he just started shitting his life out of his intestines. Including the tampon.
That picture itself wouldn’t be too bad if we weren’t aware of the fact that these middle fingers he’s sticking into our faces there had just finished shelling that tampon out of his hairy anus only seconds before we took this document of humiliation.
At least now we know that these Colombian kids are actually pretty smart little tots who know how to achieve a maximum high with a minimal MacGyver-esque use of material.
Oh yeah, by the way, doctors highly disapprove of this practice. We do, too. Everybody with a brain does. Don’t do it. It’s not going to get you anywhere, not going to get you laid, and not going make you any smarter. Also, it’s disgusting. SO JUST FUCKING DON’T DO IT!
ANNA LISET AHLERS
get a bottle of everclear and a real man and try it again.
Posted by: jj | 23/09/2009 at 19:29
this guy is a fucking fagggggggg. look at that gay face.
Posted by: root tuber | 23/09/2009 at 19:36
wow... i dont know if thats worth the drunk buzz, but it does work well with rolls
Posted by: justin | 23/09/2009 at 19:40
Tubing, not just for ecstasy any more.
Posted by: DabblesInPacifism | 23/09/2009 at 19:58
At some point it sounds like fun, but then again its completely sick... and fun..
Oh fucking hell, I cant deside weather its fun og sick, maybe its both. But thank you for trying. Dont know yet if Im gonna sacrifice my asshole.
Posted by: wubu | 23/09/2009 at 20:01
Oh boy! I'm guessing a vodka soaked tampon isn't the grossest thing this guy has put in his anus.
Posted by: Jono | 23/09/2009 at 20:44
really, I heard doing molly that way's a waste.
Posted by: mike | 23/09/2009 at 21:15
This is ligit. I indorse this practice one hundred percent!!
Posted by: Paolo | 23/09/2009 at 21:50
Norwegians have been doing this for years. Old shit.
Posted by: jermajesty | 23/09/2009 at 21:54
ow.
Posted by: Jennnn | 23/09/2009 at 22:55
I bunch of kids in Albany, Oregon did this back when I was in High School in Corvallis, Oregon. Ahhh, such an Albany thing to do... And then they drove off the side of the road. Also a very Albany thing to do.
Posted by: Purple Peeter | 23/09/2009 at 23:42
this isnt that disgusting at all its just random and weird but i'd totally do it
Posted by: /\/\/\/\/\/\\//\///\//\/\¥0 | 23/09/2009 at 23:56
Bums could save themselves a lot of miles roaming around looking for cans, and a lot of shoplifting arrests, if they caught on to this
Just go in with your friends on a box of tampons and the cheapest bottle of vodka imaginable, and you're golden for six months.
The only gross thing would be all the disposed tampons all over the place.
Posted by: lyle | 24/09/2009 at 05:15
like.. ancient mesoamericans used to do that. its basically in their culture to stick alcohol in their bums.
Posted by: katieb | 24/09/2009 at 07:10
that guy definitely sucked the tampon off afterwards
Posted by: robbie remix | 24/09/2009 at 09:47
old news
Posted by: gregarious greg | 24/09/2009 at 16:21
I fucking hate all the cunt soup that insist on wearing festival wristbands after the event..
Posted by: runny paint | 24/09/2009 at 16:47
Wow
Posted by: AZMOLLY | 24/09/2009 at 18:34
Colombian girls actually insert the tampons into their vaginas...google that shit.
Posted by: merc | 24/09/2009 at 19:03
great acting
Posted by: bun | 24/09/2009 at 22:43
diff. country diff. asses
Posted by: TIBO | 26/09/2009 at 02:40
this just made my day......people get up to some creepy shit and this is why I ready Vice: open my innocent little eyes to the perverted possibilites of maddness.
Posted by: Tim H | 28/09/2009 at 02:10
I heard Lauren rams drunk midgets up her ass to achieve the same effect. It really works, apparently.
Posted by: Omar | 01/10/2009 at 02:51
i fukkin know this kid!!
Posted by: courtney | 10/12/2009 at 09:23
omg!
hahahah!
this is carlos from my high school in berlin!!!
Posted by: Lo | 28/02/2010 at 13:24