NEW YORK - RETURN TO STUCKEY'S

 I'll be on the road for the next month playing keys with my band The Weight, who you may remember from Practice Space on VBS. We're traveling to nearly 30 cities in 19 states and will be passing through a bunch of others. One thing you do on the road is eat at establishments both iconic and obscure, so I'm going to keep you updated about what I’m putting in my mouth.

The six of us loaded into our recently purchased Ford Econoline van and hit the road for Norfolk, Virginia. I was born across the water from Norfolk in Hampton and lived there until my dad took a job in Atlanta when I was eight. I continued to come back to Virginia for Christmas and summer vacations until I graduated high school. For some reason, that place seems to be fixed in a time decades irrelevant to the present. I can't tell if it just seems like this because I live in New York or if it's truly at the end of its evolutionary chain. Who knows?



I first fell asleep somewhere in Delaware. I woke in Virginia to a rolling backdrop (rolling as in continually moving--the landscape itself is completely flat) of corn and tobacco fields, roadside vegetable stands, tackle shops, and motels that had seen their special time in the 50s. Every house we passed seemed to have a boat or a kudzu-covered clapboard farmhouse in its side yard, sometimes both.

The summer and the landscape together overwhelmed me with nostalgia. I remembered picking vegetables in my grandaddy and mema's garden that would either end up on the supper table, put up in mason jars for the winter, or brought to neighbors in wide-weave wicker baskets. I remembered traveling the same roads in my grandparents' Winnebago Chieftain bound for great uncles' and aunts' houses in the country outside of Brookneal, Virginia, or the Pennsylvania Dutch country, which my grandaddy was fascinated with for some reason. I remember going at least three times. 

Stuckeys was an oasis in an otherwise hostile world of giant tractor trailer trucks barreling down seemingly endless miles of asphalt and other forms of perpetual motion. This one was as close to an original as I can remember: no attached fast food chain, just a gas station, gift shop, and lunch counter with a handful of laminated booths where you could sit and have a bite at before getting back on the road.

I'd had a crappy lunch on the New Jersey Turnpike earlier, so I wasn't really ready for the lunch counter. But it's pretty tough to stop into a Stuckey's and not walk out with some sort of sweet snack. It's one of the things that they're famous for and the main reason that Stuckey's was a childhood favorite of mine. After taking a few minutes to consider my options (moon pies, peanut brittle, pecan fancies, salt water taffy...hmm...). I decided on a Pennsylvania Dutch Birch Beer, an original Goo Goo Cluster, and a Stuckey's World Famous Pecan Roll.

In the Pennsylvania Dutch country, my grandaddy would stop at the side of the road to buy warm bottles of birch beer from Amish farmers. I'd always have a sip, but my childhood taste buds weren't really ready for that. I'd gladly swap that birch beer for the one from Stuckey's, but hey, I'm an impulse buyer and will sometimes make a purchase based on the cover and not the words in the book.

The Goo Goo Cluster's "original recipe" is a perfection of peanuts, caramel, and marshmallow covered in chocolate, and even though this alone might've given me diabetes, I have to have a Pecan Roll every time I stop at a Stuckey's. A log of nougat coated in caramel and pecans and inside... what is that? Maraschino cherries? I definitely don't remember that being there. They make the inside an unsettling shade of pink with bright red specks. Kinda gross really, but what the hell.

This kind of junk food's rooted in a time and place, and that's becoming increasingly hard to find in a world that every day looks more and more the same no matter what city and state I might find myself in.
 But in the end, nostalgia lost out to sheer sugar. I got about halfway through everything before it all ended up back in the bag and finally found its way to the floor of the van with the rest of the debris that six dudes and a couple of pit stops can create in a day.


JAMESON PROCTOR

Comments

[Mamam]

Updates on what you eat. Argh. I can hardly wait for part two.

[bbeeerrrrr]

birch beer! yesssssss

[jackson]

googoo clusters are the shit. those and moonpies are the only way to go when driving through the south. get a cheerwine in nc!

[yumyum]

mm I love stopping and getting food on road trips! its the best part.

[mini]

jman! this is terrific, I'm excited to hear about what you're eating and what you're seeing on the road. the lonely employed wives will live vicariously through and through.

[Buxx County]

Pennsylvania Dutch Birch, fuckin' A

[sam]

Hey candyman...you would go for the original Goo Goo Cluster. Sounds good, can't wait to hear what other magical thing you eat next!

[Harris]

Stuckey's is great. You can get grub and beer and state magnets all at one convenient stop. If you have kids you might want to escort them to the bathroom though.

[vance]

um, waffle house?

[sarah]

speaking of junk food i got a six pack of strawberry shortcake ice cream bars yesterday and they're all for me, mwaaaaaahahahahahaaaa

[Kelly]

I have driven from California to Chicago and back again three times in my life, and Stuckey's was a beacon of joy on each of those trips.

[DelBoogs]

when i was a kid my brother would start chanting Stuckeeeeys! Stuckeeeyes! slow and low to a fast fever pitch when he saw their billboards on the road so my dad would stop. my brother had an addiction to stuckeys chili and he would down that shit faster than satan drinks the blood of innocents.

[zoober]

"The six of us loaded into our recently purchased Ford Econoline van and hit the road for Norfolk, Virginia. I was born across the water from Norfolk in Hampton and lived there until my dad took a job in Atlanta when I was eight. I continued to come back to Virginia for Christmas and summer vacations until I graduated high school. For some reason, that place seems to be fixed in a time decades irrelevant to the present. I can't tell if it just seems like this because I live in New York or if it's truly at the end of its evolutionary chain. Who knows? "

You misspelled 'cares'.

[fuck this]

is your music as terrible as your writing?

[fuck this]

nope didnt get it all out. youre touring the country with some shit band, whose music, graphic design, and name are all products of ass-raping 20-year-old popular culture and northern va/anywhere outside ny is supposed to be irrelevant. id love to read a post about the relevance your grandpa.

[Gordon Light-Fut]

couldn't even get halfway through. are you kidding me? why should i care about this asshole?

[I Care]

This article is absolutely charming and so must be the writer. I remember Stuckeys but haven't been to one in ages so it's nice to know they are still around to bring smiles to the faces of weary travelers. It's also nice to read about the relationship between a young man and his Grandfather, knowing the love between the members of that family made a lasting impression on this bright young man. I wish all the members of the band a safe journey through the US and hope they rock out, and receive and a warm welcome wherever they go. Safe travel fellows.

[sarina]

don't barf in the van!

have fun dudes!

xo

[Bun]

sounds peachy :)

[Jono]

Just reading this article gave me a sweet tooth. Followed shortly by a stomach ache.

[apt]

Touring is never boring, this sounds like a dream.