HEY RON! - I DON'T HAVE HERPES BUT I HAVE A BIG PROBLEM

Uh-oh! We had a flood of questions for Ron after we advertised that the asker of each selected question would receive a free Hey Ron! t-shirt. Are you people really that easy to manipulate? We guess so, and that's why we'll be continuing the free t-shirt deal from here until we decide you don't deserve them. Speaking of manipulation, this week's dilemma involves a guy, the woman he wants to bone, and the conniving friend who snatched her snatch by claiming that his buddy had a virus that rhymes with "Slurpees."

Hey Ron!
I just found out my friend sold me down the river and got a chick to stop liking me because he liked her. He told her I had herpes so she wouldn't fuck me, and he ended up getting together with her instead. A week after the fact I ran into her at a bar and she told me she liked me but she wished I didn't have herpes. "What?!" I said. She told me the scoop and I hit the roof! I really liked this chick but my scumbag friend already hit it. What should I do? Do I still date her or do I knock my friend out for talkin' smack?

This is a straight-up knuckle-up situation. It doesn’t sound like he really knows her. He probably only saw her a couple of times and didn't really sit down and talk to her yet. But your "friend" straight-up played you. If he’s really your friend maybe then he doesn't look at you the same way because, you know, if was your friend he wouldn’t have done that.

If you think you can't take him, take him. I wouldn’t even say nothing to him. He definitely would know what's up once you punched him in the mouth. That’s the kind of thing you don’t speak about. You don’t walk up to him and say, “Yo man, I'm gonna punch you in the face. You did that, and it's wrong.” NO. I'm just going to walk up to you and punch you in the mouth, and directly in the mouth because I want your lip swollen so every time you look in the mirror and your lips move, you're not gonna even think about uttering those words again. Then he's going to look at his mouth as one big herpie. You know what I’m saying?

As far as dating her, guys don’t like dating other friends' girls cause their friend already hit it. But what about the girl you're dating now or the one you're going to be dating in the future? You can't think for a minute that she hasn't been hit all over the place already. It's just the way it is. If you can catch a virgin, she’s probably in the third grade.That’s the only place you're going find them, especially in public school.

When I was growing it up it was always "You want to meet a good girl? Then go to church." But nowadays you can probably find some of them hanging out in bars and clubs. So I would definitely check this girl out and see what she’s about if you're still into her. Just ask yourself this question before you sleep with her: “How long did it take for him to sleep with her?" Then you have to ask yourself if she's worthy of a relationship.

Love,
Ron

Spill your guts here, and if it's good enough you'll end up with a "Hey Ron!" t-shirt in your mailbox.

Comments

[Oddmeal]

"This is a straight-up knuckle-up situation."
Hahahaha. Classic!

[what time is it?]

I think that there is always a solution to be found in knuckling up and checking chins. good work ron.

[hit it n quit it.]

i think most of the girls who go to church wind up being some of the biggest whores ever, well in my experience. i think putting your junk where a friends has already been is a strange one, but at the same time i dont think that you can really call this guy a friend.

[sound advice]

your killin them ron, KILLIN them

[clean]

well, at least you know she trys to keep it clean.

[millard fillmore]

i didn't think black guys were into the whig party. this made my fucking day!

[douche]

it sounds like your friend is a huge scum bag, so i wouldnt let the whole friend hit that thing get in the way

[nicejob]

sounds like great advice, i agree wholeheartedly

[smackdatass]

RON WHAT'S ON YOUR HEAD?

[PHAROH]

I had a washcloth on my head. I
t was H H H day as they say on Fox5

[Jules]

STRAIGHT-UP KNUCKLE-UP

That's more like it!!!!!!!!!!

[you will know us by the trail of head]

i believe that is an approximation of a judge's wig, FUCKAS

[apt]

Perfect: "I'm just going to walk up to you and punch you in the mouth, and directly in the mouth because I want your lip swollen so every time you look in the mirror and your lips move, you're not gonna even think about uttering those words again. "

[yancy]

order in the court!!

[Illinois]

I think this is a situation where if you're too small to properly knuckle-up, a swift kick to the nuts would be a proper alternative.

[Camacho]

beat the shit out of him, russian style.

[charlie evans]

obviously the dumb motherfucker doesn't understand indo-european.

[Cuthbert]

Hey dude,

I help you. Sounds to me like your friend needs cutting. And I can cut him real nasty for you in his pum-pum-pum, if you know what I mean. I cut him there and he not boning your girl anymore. He more concerned about how he's going to do wee-wee again. Why don't you call me and I help?

If you like I tell that girl I cut her too, real bad, if she don't do the saucy-saucy with you quick, quick, quick time. That way you'll be monkeying her no problem, any time you like, herpes or no herpes.

[Bob]

You should do something real dirty to him. Pretend you don't know he said anything then ejaculate on his toothbrush and rub it in. Call him in a couple of days and give him the good news. That'll show him.

[errr]

Charlie evans, I feel retarded after reading your comment...

[.pho queen]

mouth herpes are the shiznit! j/k :P

[mone']

Hey Dude,

What should I do, when your godfather says he is going to get you a pair of sneakers (Jordans) four month ago (before my cruise)? Now that school has started i still dont have my size 5.5.
How do I tell him, "I want my sneakers Uncle Ron"!!!!

[Generic Cialis]

Obviously he is not as man and gentleman and to win the girl on his own and has to cut you off the road.

[Ron]

If you like to chat with hey Ron go to Hey_Ron at on tweeter

[valtrex online]

There are medications available to treat genital herpes infections and prevent recurrent infections. However, none of the drugs get rid of the virus. The decision to use one treatment over another for genital herpes depends on many factors that must be discussed with your health-care provider.