Nothing says summer like roller coasters, ferris wheels, water slides, and hordes of 12-year-olds making out and groping one another. And I don't mean regular making out--I mean an experimental lick-fest. But what is it about tween love that's just so gnar-gnar? Is it their child flesh on the verge of rotting into adulthood? Or the chub-acne faces? Perhaps it's just their really awesome personalities. I think a tween love make-out and rub-down is twice as disturbing as 2 Girls, 1 Cup. Don't believe me? Well, a recent trip to Six Flags provided me with more than enough evidence to make my point.
Portrait One: Protector Of The Twomb
Portrait Two: Intimate Scratching
Portrait Three: The Humpasaurus
Portrait Four: Why Are We Talking About Homework At Six Flags?
Portrait Five: The Photographer Is Busted
Portrait Six: Nerd Love
Portrait Seven: Happy To Touch Hands
Portrait Eight: Staring Is Caring
Portrait Nine: Twangsters
MATT KESSLER
You sure the "Photographer is Busted" wasn't taken at one of the Pool Parties?
Posted by: Grant | 18/08/2009 at 18:49
that is a look of terror on the face of staring is caring.
Posted by: all in the eyes | 18/08/2009 at 18:53
wow i cant believe you actually got a double over the shoulder slow dance shot
Posted by: sweet moves | 18/08/2009 at 18:54
protector of the twomb can quickly develop into a sly boob touch, its every fathers nightmare.
Posted by: the horror | 18/08/2009 at 18:56
the twangsters look much oldere than everybody else
Posted by: old dudes | 18/08/2009 at 18:56
whose more uncomfortable on the log ride, the girl getting groped, or the dude in front of her?
Posted by: toughride | 18/08/2009 at 18:57
i think happy to hold hands is actually a sly baggy pass. the guy is almost sweating out of his eyeballs he is so nervous. haha.
Posted by: shalalala | 18/08/2009 at 19:02
why is joe proux in one of those photos? STAGED!!!
Posted by: grampa | 18/08/2009 at 19:05
Abercrombie boy hasn't even hit puberty yet. The good ole pre-nuthair days.
Posted by: Harris | 18/08/2009 at 19:18
this was just an excuse to go to six fucking flags... and obviously you didn't even make it out of there with enough footage for your column. nothing wrong with that. boom.
Posted by: Ian Patrick Scott | 18/08/2009 at 19:27
that was always the best part about school trips to the amusement park. underage feel-ups.
Posted by: shelby | 18/08/2009 at 19:37
picture one
'shit where do i put my hands, and how firm?!'
'put them on my tits- please god make him put them on my tits'
Posted by: Bun | 18/08/2009 at 19:39
ah.. those pre-sagging, pre-script name tattoo'd, pre- reason to wear a bra excursions to second base, how nostalgic i am to be imagining the junior highschool bus
Posted by: TonyFunfetti | 18/08/2009 at 20:18
Unbelievable that you didn't get tossed from six flags for creeping on these youngsters.
Posted by: Jono | 18/08/2009 at 20:36
Shiii.. Growing up smack inbetween knotts and disneyland provided me with hundreds of amusement park hookups. It was like a game to see who could get with the most chicks seen? There were girls from all over.. Good times indeed.
Posted by: halcyon | 19/08/2009 at 18:16
its all about y-splitters
Posted by: .pho queen | 20/08/2009 at 00:38
that was funny
Posted by: dinkle | 20/08/2009 at 02:13
ITS EVEN BETTER NOW THAT ITS BEEN POSTED TWICE.
Posted by: Zach | 20/08/2009 at 22:03
haha oh man this is great, the memories. the NJ one is great, its got the water park and safari too makes for more awkward teen love.
Posted by: darthvice | 20/08/2009 at 22:17
these pictures make me so anxious i want to vom
Posted by: mg | 20/08/2009 at 22:45
this is just weird.
Posted by: jp | 20/08/2009 at 23:06
what a complete waste of server space.
Posted by: unacceptable | 20/08/2009 at 23:21
What just happened?
Posted by: Lee | 21/08/2009 at 00:30
haha i remember those days...
Posted by: your mom | 22/08/2009 at 21:10
Really well done with the triple-play of every shot. Seriously.
Posted by: PB | 24/08/2009 at 06:50