It’s been a few days since the VICE soccer team didn’t completely lose a tournament like usual and the guys won’t stop talking about it. I guess we’re all supposed to feel proud of them because in the six years these Bad News Bears have been playing, they weren’t knocked out of the running by getting creamed in their first game at the eighth annual Fanatic tournament at the Chelsea Waterside Park last Sunday. Let’s see how they made the magic happen…
When we asked who the MVP was, one team player said, "Because I'm the best player, I don't feel comfortable telling you who the best player is."
...But we won't say who that was because it might make him feel embarrassed and egotistical.
Vice publisher Erik Lavoie (that's him in the cool shades) gave a very inspiring pep talk: "What the fuck did you spend $600 on popcorn for?"
Warming up for such glorious moves pretty much involved one guy taking naps and two others stretching each other's hammies. No clue what the other three were doing.
Illegal cheating bullshit shoving move, courtesy of Mr. Headband.
Guess which one of these studs is wearing his girlfriend's underwear? (Hint: it's not the one with his shirt off--those undies would mean his girlfriend is a lesbian.)
Speaking of those shirts, they were made right here in our fancy all-glass conference room on the very table that we were all strongly warned by our bosses not to ever, ever under any circumstances sit on or give massages on or fuck around with in any manner because it was made just for us and there is an exotic and temperamental varnish on it. But heat-pressing numbers on soccer jerseys with an iron definitely counts as an important business meeting.
(Tourney photos by Constance Goldmann)