NEW YORK - WAY TO GO, GUYS!

It’s been a few days since the VICE soccer team didn’t completely lose a tournament like usual and the guys won’t stop talking about it. I guess we’re all supposed to feel proud of them because in the six years these Bad News Bears have been playing, they weren’t knocked out of the running by getting creamed in their first game at the eighth annual Fanatic tournament at the Chelsea Waterside Park last Sunday. Let’s see how they made the magic happen…

When we asked who the MVP was, one team player said, "Because I'm the best player, I don't feel comfortable telling you who the best player is."

 

...But we won't say who that was because it might make him feel embarrassed and egotistical.
 

Vice publisher Erik Lavoie (that's him in the cool shades) gave a very inspiring pep talk: "What the fuck did you spend $600 on popcorn for?"

 

Warming up for such glorious moves pretty much involved one guy taking naps and two others stretching each other's hammies. No clue what the other three were doing.

Absolutely no idea what's going on here, and not sure it's necessary or even wise to find out.

Pretty sure this is a soccer game, not a skank-off at a ska fest, but I could be wrong.

Illegal cheating bullshit shoving move, courtesy of Mr. Headband.
 

 

Guess which one of these studs is wearing his girlfriend's underwear? (Hint: it's not the one with his shirt off--those undies would mean his girlfriend is a lesbian.)
 

Speaking of those shirts, they were made right here in our fancy all-glass conference room on the very table that we were all strongly warned by our bosses not to ever, ever under any circumstances sit on or give massages on or fuck around with in any manner because it was made just for us and there is an exotic and temperamental varnish on it. But heat-pressing numbers on soccer jerseys with an iron definitely counts as an important business meeting.
 

LACI FIBONACCI

(Tourney photos by Constance Goldmann)

Comments

[jonathan hunt]

i didn't play because i'm not really the athletic type. i might not be good at sports, but ron is a pussy

[LA Tino]

Yea, you're right, Ron is a pussy

[Musick]

Of course we kicked so much ass that by the time we finally lost a game all the free beer was gone. Fuckers.

[tokion used to be a good mag]

poor tokion. you'd think the most fashion-centric mag would have had better unis but they may have been the worst of the tournament.

[vollgas]

Playing with chains should be mandatory,

[futbol]

slide tackling wasn't allowed but no one ever said anything about chains.

[billyraycyrus]

no mention this monumental squad made it all the way to the SEMIFINALS? What about the hair-raising shootout in the quarterfinals?

[mg]

ADORABLE!!!

[pool cleaner]

what a bunch of limpwristed qweers

[vanessa]

nice outfits guys...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyjQjaImQDI

:P

[wolfpck]

i bet they are all wearing women's underwear, its vice

[lazy eyez killa]

ladies undies give more support for sporting events and the thongs let your ass really breathe.

[vice fc groupie]

you can actually see the panty-line in the ska photo

[yancy]

god forbid one of mr. headband's jewfro locks get sweaty enough to limit his eyesight.

[Musick]

I need a haircut.

[Ben Dietz]

I feel like destroying my ankle last year was worth it. Proud of you guys.

[steven]

where can i cop a fresh vice soccer jersey?

[Tony]

Kicking each other asses doesn't count!

[viceroy]

cuties. all dwarfed by the mysterious shirtless man. i would take eric seriously if he had the appropriate goggles on.

[jermajesty]

next week: tackle football vs lesbians