You see that topless cutie beckoning to you over there on the twin bed? Jamie Lee Curtis Taete took that for our Photo Issue. Right now he’s in LA, where he used to live for a few months (sans car, like a lunatic), purging ambrosial drops of labor dew in the Scion gallery, prepping for the Photo Show opening tomorrow night.
OK, that was just for the bosses--they don’t usually read past the first few sentences. Actually, he and some Vice staffers have been whooping it up out there the last couple days. Jamie took everyone on a trespassing field trip up a steep, steep mountain, through all kinds of mansions and hills, to visit the HOLLYWOOD sign. Here, Amy Kellner’s gonna tell you about it, as paraphrased from a phone call she made from some balmy balcony while eating a late breakfast. (Next they had plans to go to a thrift store to buy bathing suits so they could go to the beach. I’m not sure what kind of poor-planner takes a trip to LA without something to swim in, nor who buys a swimsuit from a thrift store and immediately puts it on bare genitals and just flits on down to the beach. Oh wait, yes, I do know: it’s people who work here. Yes, I'm just jealous.)
Jamie lived here for a few months and he’s, you know, a weird dude. First we trespassed and drove up this really steep hill somewhere in Hollywood. This is one of his favorite places. We went through mansions and hills along, like, a cliff you could drive over. Just to see the Hollywood sign. It was scary--we thought someone would come out and shoot us. He also took us to a museum run by Scientologists showing how evil psychiatry is, using the Holocaust and Colombine as examples. We had to check our cameras when we got in. There were all kinds of videos of torture that psychiatrists have foisted upon people, and straightjackets and electro-shock apparatuses and stuff. It was terrifying. We ran through it with our eyes to the ground. At the end of it, these Scientologists asked us all questions like, “Do you have good days and bad days? Because if you do, psychiatrists say you’re bipolar. And do you have trouble doing math problems? Well, then that must mean you have a learning disability. And now we’re going to give you pills, and they won’t make you feel better and they won’t make you any better at math!”