Being "laid off" is your free ticket to the funnest summer you're going to have in a long time. But what happens when you're fired, and solely because your boss is jealous of the inter-office trim you're getting? Ron's got the answer.
I've got a serious problem. I was just fired from my job as a sales associate at a major television network. My sales numbers have consistently been in the top five for the last three years and I keep to myself at work, so when my boss told me I was being let go because of my "attitude" it came as a bit of a shock. What I think really happened was that I was briefly dating a girl in the office who I think he wants to screw. We stopped seeing each other over a month ago, but I heard he just caught wind of it. The boss and I have had a good rapport since I've been here, so I really think he's full of shit. He would not elaborate when I asked him what he meant by my "attitude" and was pretty much a giant dick about the whole thing. I'm already looking into legal action, but I need some short-term satisfaction. Ron, how do I get back at this turd?
The best way to get back at anyone, whether it be an employer or girlfriend, is to always do it better. If I date a fine girl who dumps me, I'm going to find a finer girl with more money and a bigger car and drive around and let her see how well I’m doing. If it’s a job, I’m going to find a bigger and better employer so he can see the mistakes he made. Their loss, my gain. That’s the best kind of advice, because in most industries like that everyone knows each other. So if you go out and damage him it is only going to hurt you in the long run and you don’t want that. It’s like VICE--if someone leaves here and goes somewhere else it's probably because the people knew who they were and knew VICE. You don’t want to damage VICE after you go someplace else because you may be back. So the best part about that: You can come back for more money! It’s like, “Show me the money. You had me when you had me and then you lost me, and now you want me back. That’s going to cost you because I was in your top five.”
Now if you were in the bottom five, I say, hell, go all out on them because you have nothing to lose. Still, getting back at him isn't really going to help because you won't get a reference. Get your job first. If you scratch his car or send anonymous emails he’s going to blame you and you’re not going to get a letter of recommendation. The sad part is that you can’t really go after him without damaging yourself.
But if you still want to play hardball my advice is to get other people do it a few months later when he's not around. If he is seeing that girl and he broke it up with her, she’ll go back to you. That's when you leave your mark. Then dump her ass and she'll go back to him. If you get word of that, just show up at his office one day and say, “How does it taste?”