AUSTRIA - HOW I READ THE FUTURE OUT OF MY GIRLFRIEND’S VAGINA

When I pulled off my girlfriend's underwear the other day she probably thought it had something to do with make-up sex, since I’d spent the whole evening with internet research instead of listening to her. She was absolutely right, but first I wanted to find out about her character. Martha Olschewski, the world’s foremost vagina reader, was gonna help me with that.

Martha Olschewski says you first have to choose one of three types (depending on the proportion between Labia majora pudenda and Labia minora pudenda).

PHYSIOGNOMY

After careful examination I assert that she is probably the balanced type (I changed my mind the next morning after taking a closer look, deciding she is not balanced but introverted).

WHAT MARTHA OLSCHEWSKI THINKS ABOUT THAT

The introvert type hardly ever jumps to conclusions, takes her time when it comes to decisions, and is a very thoughtful person. Although she seems to be very introverted, she tends to open herself completely and shows her hidden qualities.

THE FACTS

My girlfriend’s qualities are by no means at all hidden. She is one of the most intelligent people I’ve ever met, and plus her boobs are great. Maybe some people think she is an introvert when they first meet her, but in fact she is a very open person. When it comes to decisions, she hardly ever takes her time. Far from it. She prefers to shout at you when she is angry and sometimes she even punches people. Especially when she is drunk.

According to Martha Olschewski’s guidance I have to go further into detail (for example, discern the length of her Praeputium clitoridis, the color of her Vestibulum vaginae, and the hardness grade of her Perineum)

PHYSIOGNOMY

Maybe it’s because I’m lacking knowledge in women’s anatomy, but I couldn’t find her Praeputium clitoris at all or maybe there just isn’t one. I don’t know, but I’ll ask her to find out when she is at the gynecologist the next time. Her pussy is the same color as every other pussy I've come across (it’s dusty rose, as I like to say) and when it comes to the hardness grade of her perineum I have to say it is quite resilient. But I might have to check this at a later time because the reason for her tautness could’ve been the film she was watching–Friday the 13th , and she's the type that scares quite easily).

WHAT MARTHA OLSCHEWSKI THINKS ABOUT THAT

A short Praeputium clitoris indicates a higher susceptibility to sickness and a very hard Perineum says that the person is very aggressive and cold hearted.

THE FACTS

I’ve never seen my girlfriend sick the entire time I've been with her (except, of course, on the days she has been drinking the night before), and yeah, she really is aggressive sometimes.

CONCLUSION

Vag-reading can be very helpful if you want to bring new joy to your foreplay or if you don’t often get the chance to really poke around down there. But to find out more about your girl’s future or character you should stick to palm reading or the good old-fashioned killing-an-animal-and-asking-the-guts thing.

FRED OTZE

Comments

[olga]

vaginas are one thing but buttholes are another. they all look pretty much the same. read that, oh wise one.

[Bonner]

Rich Buttery Taste!

[Sean]

I thought men were the ones supposedly obsessed with their genitals. Where are the dick inspectors?

[vanessa]

verrrry intresting but, what about penis reading?!

[snacks]

great writing.

[mg]

I find this not so astonishing - women are full of so many hidden secrets.

[wolfpck]

"i can read your vagina and tell you your future" i think you've discovered the greatest pickup line ever

[Chloe]

did your girlfriend punch you for writing this? I would

[adffokryh]

Sz9QCM jrfejvtblnqu, [url=http://fwqhqegunujv.com/]fwqhqegunujv[/url], [link=http://dkfvsbceyyxq.com/]dkfvsbceyyxq[/link], http://eslqbbngfwmw.com/

[adffokryh]

Sz9QCM jrfejvtblnqu, [url=http://fwqhqegunujv.com/]fwqhqegunujv[/url], [link=http://dkfvsbceyyxq.com/]dkfvsbceyyxq[/link], http://eslqbbngfwmw.com/

[Leide]

Kathleen, your dhugaters are very lucky to have you as their hero. Your honesty with having Alzheimer's is the strength that will pull your family through this journey. I was my mother's primary caregiver and watching her go through this disease impacted me so deeply that I wrote a book called Alzheimer's: A Mother Daughter Journey. I hope your dhugaters might read it, or at least see the photos (celiapomerantz.wordpress)that I took of her during the last 3 weeks of her life. My heart goes out to you.Thank you for demonstrating courage. We will all learn from you.Celia PomerantzAuthor/Photographer of Alzheimer's: A Mother Daughter Journeyceliapomerantz.wordpress.com