NEW YORK - VEGEMITE VS. MY HANGOVER

An Australian friend of mine just brought me this “Snackabout” from her baffling homeland. It’s basically the Dunkaroo’s drunken, casually racist cousin. And while my friend readily admits that Vegemite is the foulest substance her countrymen put in their mouths outside of bugs, she also claims that it can kill the most crippling hangover with a single yeasty smear.

I’m kind of suspicious that this hangover cure may work in the same way that breaking your finger “works” as anesthetic for a bullet wound, but right now it feels like a garbage truck is hauling my intestines through my brains, so I’m willing to take what I can get. Here goes…

Verdict: Wait a minute, this is it? This is what everybody’s spazzing about? This shit tastes great! Fine, maybe not “great,” but at least “decent” or “reasonable”. Based on all the reports I’d received from non-Australians I assumed I was about to subject my mouth to a flavor just short of dogarrhea, but this just tastes like someone crushed up Cheezits into some ground taco meat. Aka pretty all right.

On the hangover front, I just downed another cracker-full and already the “all clear” burps are coming through loud and proud. Actually I feel really good right now. It’s possible that all this is the result of the teensy adrenaline surge it took to get the load of paste into my mouth, but I like to think that the brewer’s yeast it’s made from enacts some sort of hasty “hair-of-the-dog” agreement with the intestinal tract upon entry. Really, the only improvement I’d suggest right now is if they could make it spicy. Or “sharp.”

Anyways, I’ll keep you posted with updates as the day goes on, but for the time being I would like to officially declare all denigrators of Vegemite to be culinary baby-men and the country of Australia to be slightly less abominable than I previously believed. Although this still does not resolve the fact that their most popular cheese is called Tasty Coon.

Comments

[ass barf]

i always wondered about this. i'll have to buy some for my more shameful mornings.

[louloutte]

i want my job to be writing blog posts about food and my hangover

[probono]

marmite and vegimite are perfect for hangovers as it gives you the one strike rule, it sits or it doesnt. no bullshit.

[TammyFaye]

I think in Australia you can take any word that works as both a noun and verb and add "abouts" to the end and make up a new word.

[kool fartz]

Hmm, I always thought the best hangover cure was a glass of OJ and a blowjob....but you go ahead and stick with that foul aussie muck.

[BadNewsBrown]

ugh...vegemite...the word itself reminds me of moss or fungi

[SearsPoncho]

It sounds like something you would drill for in a mountainside made of vegetables. If it's not Nutella, I'm anti brown smear.

[Vladimitri]

The best hangover cure is coconut water. It contains a lot of potassium and that shit is good for you.

[Yuk]

If at all, it most probably works like a strong beef tea for the hang over - i.e. by replacing all the electrolytes you vigorously peed out when you got drunk.
Wasn't this stuff invented as meat replacement after WWI? Brrrr

[Chowchestku]

Best hangover cure is boiled cabbage and ham. A wild and crazy eastern Europeans taught me that.

[harbinger]

american viewpoint on vegemite: tastes great, helps hangovers. the flavor is like soy sauce with a peanut-buttery consistency. all the salt and b-vitamins replenish what you pissed out all night.

...i thought it contained some kind of sulfate that now makes it illegal to bring into the us?

[fonz]

I once heard Australia referred to as an entire country of "No Fat Chicks" bumper stickers

[Anonymous]

My friend Ray swears by this stuff. It smells like the inside of a 6 day old rabbit carcass but then again so do most high end cheeses.

[bj]

if you ACTUALLY MANAGED to do some reporting on this and not just write about it on your BLOG you might have realised vegemite actually has yeast in it, its not just some magical concoction from ollooroo. constantly insisting that all australians have some kind of magical powers is borderline racist, and frankly beginning to get on my nerves

[Zzzzzz]

What part of "I like to think that the brewer’s yeast it’s made from enacts some sort of hasty “hair-of-the-dog” agreement with the intestinal tract" did you not understand? Also, if any group of people deserves to be discriminated against at this point, it would be the Aussies. Them and the Chinese.

[generic viagra]

wow good article
I dont know what to say about the picture
i always wondered about this. i'll have to buy some for my more shameful mornings.
thanks for sharing

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