Do you know that routine with the football that Lucy would pull on Charlie Brown? Where she yanks it away each and every time he runs to kick it so he eats shit? That’s basically how my relationship is with Vice. And I’m stupid Charlie Brown.
“Hey, we should work on a VBS show…”
Kick and a miss.
“We should get a full camera crew down to Cuba with you…”
Kick and a miss.
And my annual football is:
“Chris, can you get us some photos for the Photo Issue. We’re running late so we need them right away.”
And so I run as fast as I can at that Photo Issue, dropping whatever I’m doing to pull shots from years past, yesterday, and even tomorrow--ones that haven’t even been shot yet--and I swing my leg as hard as I can at that stupid email full of my photos…
Only to have it yanked out from in front of me again and again.
“So which photos are you using?”
“Oh. Dude. Space was tight…”. Or, “We have a very specific theme for this year,” or (and this is a great one), “You sent so many, we couldn’t decide which to use…”.
So you didn’t use any?
“So we didn’t use any.”
It’s bullshit stacked on top of bullshit. On a daily, weekly, monthly, and annual basis.
Luckily for me I have friends who would like to see me not starve. My friends at eS recently hired me to shoot party photos of my friend and eS team rider Bobby Worrest for his recent shoe release party.
I guess they believe that I’m just as talented(?) as the rest of the Vice photographers in the upcoming Photo Issue with a point-and-shoot digital camera. Which ain’t saying much….
whenever i see a cardboard cut out i think about the ghost in three men and a baby. so i guess what i'm trying to say is..... thanks.
Posted by: lila | 11/06/2009 at 16:40
chris your photo skills are out of this world! apart from the 3rd photo down, that guy is way too intense.
Posted by: snap it | 11/06/2009 at 16:44
vice has too start appreciating you! with camera work like this im amazed they havent got you onto vbs yet.
Posted by: hohohoe | 11/06/2009 at 16:46
if the video you posted last time is any indication of your improv skills i think they should give you your own show. you have to promise to have lonnie guest star.
Posted by: mcsquiggles | 11/06/2009 at 17:09
Cuba Si!
Posted by: Leper | 11/06/2009 at 18:15
that has to be one of the best excuses ever, there were too many, how are you supposed to re act to that? (while keeping your job)
Posted by: cracking | 11/06/2009 at 18:18
once upon a time this life are still good.
Posted by: Dans | 11/06/2009 at 19:07
We are really sorry chris the next issue will be the NIERATKO Issue
Posted by: VIBE MAGAZINE MANAGING EDITOR | 11/06/2009 at 20:06
a NIERATKO issue actually sounds pretty kick-ass, not even lying!
Posted by: kool fartz | 11/06/2009 at 21:07
who let pat smith and pensyl out in public?
Posted by: barnaby jones | 11/06/2009 at 21:44
I think I'm just going to assume from now on that everything you guys do is one big piss-take... I'm going to blow a valve trying to figure if your just publishing brain excrement... pop!
Posted by: Thomas | 12/06/2009 at 01:03
LoL at the guy on the left always having the same facial expression.
Posted by: Andy | 13/06/2009 at 15:24
bobby worrest is the man
Posted by: cooldude69 | 15/06/2009 at 07:35
Looks like you guys had so much fun!
Posted by: tampa seo | 28/01/2011 at 16:01