When caught early, warts can be frozen off with liquid nitrogen or dissolved by some scary bright blue cream. At least one in five people are infected with one strain of the virus HPV, but not all of them will develop symptoms. The worst thing about warts is the name, so try calling them something else. Call your wart Boris and take him down the clinic to be put down like a bad dog.
DR. MONA MOORE
Disclaimer: If any of you actually feel like having sex now, this is not a definitive guide and the only sure-fire way of avoiding ending up as a case study is abstinence, which is no fun at all. Wrap it up.