While dodging our moms’ phone calls urging us not to go out in public until they’ve figured out this whole swine flu doozy, we decided to investigate who may have predicted this spreading morass. And it turns out the prophet is...Jello Biafra. Maybe we’ve ribbed the guy in the past for his “politics," but we are not the type to demean a bona fide prescient being (um, plus he shows up in this season’s Soft Focus so we should probably chill on the merciless abuse). His song “Swine Flu” may have seemed like the 1991 tabloid joke of an old guy stuck on teenage diatribes, but 18 years later we’re convinced he’s the next Briansdreams (that’s where avian flu was first predicted). In 2024, according to his album released in 2006, watch for werewolf overpopulation and Moses returning to give blowjobs.
(Image compilation by Taco Nuevo)