NASHVILLE - GANG REPORT: PMS

A friend of mine told me there was some wild shit going on back home in Nashville, that three girls had recently started an all-girl gang called PMS (which stands for Pizza Marijuana Satan), and that they were easily destroying everything in their path. At first I thought this was strangely reminiscent of the 1980s crew Skate Witches, but after talking to a founding member named Rebel Yell it’s now clear that these girls don’t aim to please...

VICE: How did you get involved with PMS? Any sort of initiation process?
Rebel Yell [pictured on the left with an anonymous member, in front of their assumed headquarters]: I’m one of the girls that started it, so I didn’t have to do anything other than a little germ burn, but these new girls are going through some shit. You have to meet all the guidelines before we even start initiation though. And not just any bitch on the street can team up with us.

What’re some of the requirements?
Well, first, you have to be all about pizza, marijuana, and Satan. If you’re not down with that, then you can get the fuck out. You can’t be in love. Love is kind of just baloney and for pussies. You have to have a killer bike to ride around on. Some guys are cool, but PMS is for the most part an anti-dude gang. There are other things, but it’s mostly just under our discretion as to whether a girl is PMS material or not. Sounds elitist, but fuck off.

So what’re you girls trying to accomplish with this?
Basically, the destruction of everything. We’re just kind of sick of all the shit people are throwing at us and so we’re going to stick it to them and stick it to their kids. So far, I think we’re doing a pretty good job. I guess you could say that the corruption of youth around here is one of our main goals. We hang out outside elementary schools and teach kids how to smoke cigarettes and tell them that they’ll be cool if they do. Then we hike up the prices and sell packs to them. It’s so easy. Little kids have fucking mashed potatoes for brains.

You said earlier that PMS was primarily anti-dude, has anything ever come up with that?
Yeah, we’re not totally against guys, just the ones who are assholes. We were all out a few nights ago and this one dude would not leave us alone. He kept trying to chat Princess up but she wanted none of it. At first, she just kind of shrugged him off, but when he kept bugging her we knew we had to jump in and take some sort of action. Princess pushed him and he fell down and we all started kicking the shit out of him, and the dude at the bar kicked us all out. We were still a little pissed when we left though so we siphoned all the gas out of his car before we rode out. But, like I said, we’re not completely anti-dude. You’re a cool dude.

Thanks! Do you ladies have anything big planned out that you want to talk about?
No way! Not like I would tell you; that would kind of defeat the whole thing if everyone knew what our next step was going to be. I will say that 2009 is definitely the year of the Devil and people should expect shit to hit the fan this year.

FOREVER YOUNG

Comments

[Cowhide]

Sounds like their Tampax needs to be changed. This isn't a gang these are just asshole girls. Make some money have a game plan bitches.

[Sabotage]

I am all for girls like this because I can't stand cliques of boring fluff balls.

[Gizsm]

I know a few girls like this who are in a gang. They're called hookers.

[scramble chess]

mmm Geno's makes a mean satan pizza.

[Anxst]

I was gonna go to Bonnaroo this year. Thanks for the alert. I don't want period blood on my tent.

[Hunter]

Just what the world needs a bunch of ugly Nashville girls playing out their Jemina Pearl fantasies...

[Steven]

booooring...

[nic cage]

this is the kind of rad rubblerousing that could only happen in the South

[overit]

Wow, more piece of shit Nashville trust fund hipsters with pseudonyms. BLOWING MY FUCKING MIND. So, is the gang going to disband when these kids graduate from Belmont?

[david]

this would have been much cooler if the girls weren't totally lame. What happen to girls with real ballz?

[Confused]

What the hell? I know those people. In REAL Life. None of this is true. They don't do what they say they do in this interview. It's a scam man.

[buddy]

So what.

[kh]

i think i might want to be gang raped by them.

[davis]

JUST THE TIP. THAT'S WHAT THEY GET. JUST THE TIP.

[Gary Fisher Price]

I'd love to break a bong over one of these bitches cunts. HAPPY FRIDAY!

[Tommy Was Large]

Rebel Yell? That's a great bottom shelf name and a hangover to boot. I know a couple of guys that would be all into saying they bj'd from the 'ol RY though.

Hipster gangs are the new honda civics.

[total feminazi with all the stds]

so vice talks about a bunch of girls having a good time and suddenly everyone who's accused vice of being misogynists starts talking about bong-raping lame ugly bitches on their period or whatever...even if you commenter folks can't seem to make up your mind one thing is clear: you hate ladies. sad.

[panchita]

Turning little kids onto smoking, not so cool.
Beating the shit out of that dude and siphoning his gas, DOPE AS FUCK.

[cramoff]

fuck yeah. i needed a good reason to go back down south. I would go just to pledge and come back to start the new york chapter - except this is already pretty much every girl i know in nyc - stoner bitches who will punch you in the pants.

[Cvaldaisnotbig]

Shine on you crazy diamonds. See you off the Bedford stop in a 9 months.

[zee]

booring. is everything on this site fake?

[chux]

all the haters above would be sucking their dicks if pms were dudes

[nick]

ewwwwww this can't be real. 6 ugly ass girls with attitudes calling the shots in nashville? i live here, i just thought these were the indie sluts/ throats the bands passed around hahaha....wow the truth sounds mean hunh? im not mean, see you around belmont PMS. please don't beat my ass.

[thisisfunny]

yum i love fat chicks/ugly chicks. you can tell these girls love them some pizza. dirty ass southern bitches, makes me appreciate where i live.

[Mike]

Why do I get the feeling these girls would wet their pants if they were in Springwater for more than ten minutes?