Today the Special Olympics is hosting a global holiday called End the R-Word, where we’re not supposed to call people “retard,” chromasomally damaged or not. To show solidarity, Florida teenagers are holding a rally, actors no one cares about are wearing t-shirts, seven thousand people committed a "maybe" on Facebook, and folks young and old will join a "Tweet Chat" (mom slang for "I don't know what the fuck Twitter is"--and it's OK, we don't either) for about an hour this evening. Are you kidding me? No one really makes fun of mentally disabled people--that's mean. But “retard” is great! What’re we supposed to say now, “dum-dum”? Look, even the fags let us keep “fag”…well, the cool ones. We bet even the uptight tards aren’t that worked up about this.