So my dad pretty much hates everyone and doesn't have many friends outside of the staff at a bar he frequents on the weekends. His brother Carl is the polar opposite—a really amicable and gregarious guy who loves to chat with anyone and everyone about anything. They run a business together, so you can easily imagine the weird dynamic they have as partners. On top of their unholy union, every time one of them has a birthday, my grandmother buys the same horrid cologne for them year after year because they lie to her and say they like it. This stuff smells like mothballs that have been fermenting in a vat full of a year's worth of John Madden's leftover Tinactin scraped from his toe cleavage. Last year she made the mistake of giving her annual bottle of cologne to my uncle, who preceded to squirt three-quarters of its contents all over my dad's office effects with the door closed after he had left for the night. Needless to say, my father refused to work inside his office the next day. Today was my uncle's birthday and my dad, being the enterprising guy that he is, decided a special treat was in order: a kiddy pool full of fresh horse shit collected from a buddy's ranch. It had been sitting in there for a good 12 hours before my uncle opened the door this morning, and next to it he found a shovel and a brand-new bottle of the aforementioned cologne. No word as of yet on how he got it out of there, but I have to say: Good one, old man. I didn't think you still had it in you.
ROCCO CASTORO
i hope pops sliced the bottom up real nice so any attempt to taco fold the baby pool and neatly dispose of said shit would fail miserably and lead to a full day of resolving the fuck out of that carpet.
Posted by: dingo dick | 27/03/2009 at 20:52
dads are so funny about pranks. they get such a kick out of themselves.
Posted by: godaddy | 27/03/2009 at 20:53
hahaha oh man. i wish my father and his brother were this much fun. i can only imagine the stench that will linger in that office for weeks.
Posted by: bogart | 27/03/2009 at 20:54
it's amazing how far some people will go to pull a prank. and this case is no exception. the fact that the pranksters are older than your average make it that much more awesome.
Posted by: zero | 27/03/2009 at 20:56
I used to ride horses when I was younger so I am basically immune the the smell of horse shit. this wouldn't phase me at all
Posted by: aahhhhB | 27/03/2009 at 20:57
my dad's a pretty swell joker too bad terri schiavo has a better sense of humor than the rest of the fam.
Posted by: papa smurf | 27/03/2009 at 21:02
i guess this officially rules out ever complaining about not getting shit for your birthday. is he keeping the kiddie pool? those are great for drinking beers and dipping your feet in the front yard and since it's florida i can't think of anything more fitting.
Posted by: src | 27/03/2009 at 21:30
what ranch? i want a ranch with proper manure. and access to a kiddie pool.
Posted by: anonymous | 27/03/2009 at 22:14
Rocco, I was the one who had to shovel that crap into 2 bags yesterday at the ranch!! I hate Dad!!
Posted by: Sissy | 27/03/2009 at 23:04
That`s GREAT!!! yOU KNOW i LOVE IT!!! The crazyer the better!!! you go Dad!!!!!
Posted by: mari Wasserman | 28/03/2009 at 00:54
Good one! You failed to mention that it was superior quality manure from a select group of of equines who also enjoy horsin' around. They are still up at the barn laughing.
Posted by: Ellian | 28/03/2009 at 12:40
what a great prank. Your dad is hilarious!
Posted by: Paz C | 28/03/2009 at 21:57
man. i would be so pissed. i'd sneak bits of it into your dad's food. not so much to overwhelm him, but just enough to let him know that something's going on. then the shit would REALLY hit the fan. oh mannnnnn, gotta love poop.
Posted by: anonymous | 30/03/2009 at 21:26