It’s 5:27 PM on a Friday and I am daydreaming about vacations. I’m officially Cathy. I haven’t been on a real vacation like, ever? I mean one of those package deals to some tropical place where they have bingo and shuffleboard and beaches and multiple pools and saunas and shit like that. I have decided that I am going. I wanna be like Liz Lemon on the beach in my tank-skort and black socks with my very own sandwich turtle. My one requirement: POOL BAR. Like, where you can swim up right to the bar and drink whilst half-submerged, sitting on an underwater stool. Requirement #2: A nice, not too crowded beach. Today I begin my quest. Will you help me?
My coworkers have all told me to avoid Mexico. Apparently if I go to Cancun I will return home in a body bag with a giant Z carved into my chest. I’ve gotten several votes for Puerto Rico, which sounds fine to me as long as there is a POOL BAR. Does anyone have any good (and sort of cheap) all-inclusive vacation resorts they’d recommend? I’ve been combing through Expedia and Bookit looking at “hot deals!” for hours and it’s all so overwhelming. Please help!
Why will I not kill myself next week? Stay tuned!