i ran into this conundrum once after drinking a mixture of beer, wine, and at least four types of liquor, including jager. woke up late/early - the sun wasn't up, that's for sure. ran to the bathroom because there was no way my ass was going to be able to hold in what was churning. as soon as i pass over the bathroom threshold i feel the puke beginning to come up. in a split-second decision i sat, shat splatterpaint style, then immediately vomited. tried to make it into the tub but it didn't quite make it. i still think i made the right choice, but if the shit had been solid it would have been an easier clean-up than the vom. in this case though, the splats were all the way up under the rim. maybe the only thing worse than feeling that bad is having to clean up while feeling that bad.

"Whatever came out of my ass was the exact same color grey as the sausage I’d eaten earlier"

one time I ate about 6 or 7 red velvet cupcakes in a row... same problem.


Once when my parents were out of town, my aunt was babysitting my brother and me. They were spoiling the hell out of us, of course, and took us for ice cream. My brother had Superman ice cream and about an hour after we got home, low and behold, there was an exact replica of if, now out of scoop formation in the middle of the living room.

oh no! this is going to turn into a "who has the grossest shitting story" competition...its inevitable


how long is it lasting? don't want to frighten you, but you could have:
a. some type of ecoli poisoning
b. dysentery
c. common, horrendous but not dire, food poisoning

If it keeps up, basically flu-like symptoms are the key, then def. see a doctor. did anyone else get sick?
hang in there, man!
(think of it as a cleanse)

ron gant

i used to really love lonnie smith, centerfielder for the atlanta braves back in the early 90s. he was a class act. maybe that's why i like this lonnie so much too, but it might be because he'll do whatever you want him to even though he has super-human strength. all retarded people do, it's like how god makes up for shooting a blank.


I enjoy the comedy of domesticity, i’se seen both garry umarried, and married with children
but this column if just shit

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