My gross friend who actually orders and eats Jamaican patties from Bushwick bodegas found this creepy pamphlet full of numbers and some guy in a fancy suit and pinkie ring named DePrince wielding a voodoo doll. It freaked her out so she gave it to me. I tried calling the number inside a bunch of times for a free daily blessing promised within but he never answered and he never called back. Desperate to know what all this mumbo jumbo was about (is it Sudoku? Satanism? Numerology? Crackpot refuge for a gambling addict?) I went looking for DePrince on the internet. His site led to a labyrinth of descriptions of voodoo spells, ghosts trapped inside the internet, courses and training available in London and Singapore and Paris, charms, sigils, advice from voodoo queens, oils, idols, sachets, deep trance persuasion, ten different home pages, and general cosmic promise that anyone who enters into his dizzy, fucked-up, candle-lighting, doll-poking, chicken bone-shaking world will emerge all-powerful, rich, and drenched in pussy juice. And totally, completely, thoroughly spooked.
Here's the pamphlet
I clicked through a whole bunch of scary shit on his site
until I came to this image
And all I have to say is that if you click here and follow the steps, please, please for your own sake do not supply your home address. You don't need some witch doctor showing up at your apartment. Even one as handsome and hypnotic as this guy. And make it a good wish, OK? What happens afterward is really intense.
TEEN LAQUEEFA
this guy totally looks like Eddie Murphy in "Vampire in Brooklyn"
Posted by: | 18/02/2009 at 20:39
$97 for a "power revenge spell"?! what a bargain.
Posted by: QRSTUV | 18/02/2009 at 20:50
It always boggles my mind that these people can use computers. It's a little silly to imagine him editing his website in his voodoo garb.
Posted by: Bradford | 18/02/2009 at 20:57
@Bradford
he doesn't even own a computer. He was able to conjure the entire website through his magical powers. no computer necessary
Posted by: | 18/02/2009 at 21:13
you should do it, and if a witch doctor does show up at your door well more to blog about
Posted by: xavier | 18/02/2009 at 21:28
the numerologist formerly known as DePrince is probably nowhere near as crazy as the actual prince... seriously, prince rides camels in the dead of winter in minnesota. that's certifiable.
Posted by: | 18/02/2009 at 22:37
This guy might be on to something.
Check out his newsletter; for the scatalogically inclined amateur voodoo practitioner, there is "Think Of Me Du Du Oil". If you rub it on your lover's undergarments daily, they will think of you all day and think of you non-stop.*
*translated from poorly spelled website
Posted by: DanimalTheDepraved | 19/02/2009 at 08:18
I'm not superstitious but it's too scary for me.
Posted by: Puzzles Sudoku | 25/12/2009 at 13:52