Remember how we told you James Hetfield gave Acrassicauda one of those guitars that looks like either you're really serious about metal or else you're really serious about playing metal in your bedroom, depending on the rest of whatever else you've got going on? Video of it ended up somewhere in the black hole of Metallica.com and it's so cute we all simultaneously went "Aww" when we watched it. Seriously, it sounded like we were having a baby shower in here. So even though all this month we've been focusing on stories to make you bawl an ocean of teardrops, we're showing you now (well, not right now—go click down there on that extra black word and then you'll get there) that yes, there are happy endings in this world.
"we got the iraqis out in the hall"
what the fuck, dude? they're not guantanamo detainees. and your smug fake accent. someone slap that jackass please.
Posted by: | 06/02/2009 at 23:04
Lars probably gave them an iPod and a Napster account.
Posted by: | 06/02/2009 at 23:10
will someone with animated gif skills please make lightning bolts shoot out of his eyes?
Posted by: neil | 06/02/2009 at 23:17
hetfield got ups! he must have been wearing his air douchebags.
uhhh, and hold on a fucking minute... did that dildo just mimic a middle-eastern accent AND do the homer simpson "d'oh"?
Posted by: poozer | 06/02/2009 at 23:35
Remember when Metallica actually mattered? {wipes tear}
Posted by: Steve | 07/02/2009 at 00:36
Remember Meatloaf?
Posted by: baberhamlincoln | 07/02/2009 at 01:17
Look at how happy that guy is!
Posted by: Star Wars | 07/02/2009 at 09:53
i hope they do open for metallica, do rip out that last riff...and then smash the guitar into pieces on stage!
Posted by: | 09/02/2009 at 16:18
Metallica is better becusae they are still here longevity wins. James Hetfield can not win a vocal battle with too many singers, but he kicks Phil Anselmo right in the A@@.Pantera was OK but they were completely derivative. Metallica spawned a genre. They are on the Mount Rushmore of Rock as far as I am concerned.The loss of Dimebag was tragic, I would have liked to have seen them evolve without Phil Anselmo but we will never know what was to be.
Posted by: Aamir | 08/10/2012 at 13:27