Hi. I love Blank Dogs. That guy Mike is good. He wrote like 70 songs all by himself last year (fuck the hearsay about this being a "collective," I'm not buying into it even if it is true; sometimes we all just want to hang on to our dreams) and all of them slay. They're so complicated that he needs at least four other people onstage with him just to get the song to turn out the right way when he's playing live. But you know what? At his Market Hotel show on Friday he had no stage presence whatsoever. None. Just look at the body language here. And live his cold, smooth, five-blades-on-one-razor voice sounded like a dispozable Bic after scraping the luscious pubes of a snake-charmer. In other words: ouch.
The band warmed up for about five hours. Dude, you're good but you're not Aerosmith or something. Your recordings sound detuned and totally fine with it; don't let us see that it's completely orchestrated on purpose.
That guy in the mustard shirt was wearing a motherfucking turtle fur cowl thing around his neck for a while. That shit is OFFENSIVE and under no circumstances should be worn in a situation in which people have paid to look at you. It was so awful I wouldn't even take a picture of it, so as not to subject anyone else to the horror. But dude, you have been put on warning.
Notice how there are like three shitty photos in a row of pretty much exactly the same thing? That's what was going on the whole time. I'm just giving you an accurate depiction of what it felt like to be there. Also I'm using this caption as an excuse to tell you that I heard the bass player (who you cannot see here, sorry) tinkled his trousers a little onstage. Oh well, his jeans were black and that happens to the best of us.
Girl! Don't wear your cute shoes to a hellhole!
Dude! Don't peace out the camera during a random crowd shot when the photographer isn't even looking. You are not a Japanese tourist; you are too self-aware.
But anyway, it wasn't like they sucked. Not at all. A bunch of us still danced, but the obligatory mosh-pit the middle of the crowd started just to impress the band was fucking lame. Or maybe it was just winter...
TEEN LAQUEEFA
did you not notice the plaid turtlenecked guy? i want to hear his story.
Posted by: totes | 09/02/2009 at 18:00
The real question - How was WAVVES???
Posted by: kickflipper | 09/02/2009 at 18:05
Sometimes bedroom musicians should remain bedroom musicians. This started as a bedroom project, and I kinda wish it would have stayed that way. Don't get me wrong....i really like what mike does... but I think what happened was that Blank Dogs started to get allot of attention and pressure(?) to actually bring the project out in a live setting. Some people are disappointing? boo hoo. deal with it. What did you expect? And who cares what they look like? When did music become a fashion contest.
I haven't heard them live yet.....but i'm hoping it's weird, loud, mutant, and not pretentious. OH....how was wavves?
Posted by: meat head ted | 09/02/2009 at 18:34
unfortunately, records don't make money any more so people that probably shouldn't be playing shows have to if they want their project to make any money.
Posted by: just ask atlas sound | 09/02/2009 at 18:38
damn that's a lot of white kids
Posted by: | 09/02/2009 at 20:03
WOW WHAT AN INSIGHTFUL CONCERT REVIEW. This was have been written by some dumb Pratt cunt intern.
Posted by: Exclusive Flannel | 09/02/2009 at 22:24
this is the worst show review i've ever read.
Posted by: | 10/02/2009 at 00:41
Nigguh gay, you gay, wavvvvvvves gay. Oh snaaaaaaag a DOG!!!!!! gotta go!
Posted by: Grumpy Nigger | 10/02/2009 at 02:56
that mosh pit was started as a joke
Posted by: | 10/02/2009 at 16:19
it was? oops!
Posted by: moshpotato | 10/02/2009 at 17:22
I smell a fart
Posted by: whiff | 10/02/2009 at 18:30
Wait... if you like Blank Dogs, you must've listened to the music, right? Well, what makes you think they'd dance around and act crazy on stage?
That wouldn't make sense.
Posted by: | 11/02/2009 at 08:33
Blank Dogs is awful. almost every band on mike's label (Captured Tracks) is awful. they dont know how to play any instruments well, they dont know how to record anything, and most importantly (because music can still be great without playing proficiency and without professional production), they can't write a decent song.
Blank Dogs is a great example of a trend in indie music today where talentless hack poseurs putting out manufactured lo-fi shit somehow becomes cool within the cronie-run blogosphere (especially in Brooklyn, where I live) simply because their music sounds like a 4 year old on acid with a cassette recorder created it.
Anybody who is fans of this horrible fad (also including Vivian Girls, Wavves, No Age, etc etc etc) is a sucker and a marketing victim. Most of you super fan sheep just want to be "part of something" and don't know shit about real art or creating music.
Stop, you're ruining it.
Posted by: seriously | 23/12/2009 at 22:53