Know what's worse than a Hummer full of loggers on a cross-country trip to an aerosol can convention? Your ass, which is ruining the environment with its love affair with soft tissues. You're not a baby, you don't need diaper wipes anymore, OK? Install a fucking bidet if your balloon knot is that sensitive. But you know what's worse than that? Sheep, cow, and goat anuses, which are releasing so much noxious flatulence they're accountable for 12 percent of greenhouse gas emissions. Clearly the answer to all this ass is mass proctocolectomies (the surgical removal of the colon and rectum) for every man, woman, child, and hoofed beast. It means we'll all have to walk around with colostomy bags bulging out of our guts, but that's not so bad when you consider the hilarious new dimensions of pranks that will open up when everyone has one.
My girlfriend sent me a similar article yesterday, and you know what that means? Now she is going to *insist* that I only buy Seventh Generation shit tickets. So now I get to pay three times as much for "environmentally friendly" toilet paper. Tell me how much sense that makes. I'll save you the trouble, close to none. I'm going to make sure she knows she'd better only use one square per squat, and I guess I'll have to start using something else for my lonesome time left hand sessions.
Posted by: Nice Hardwood, Lady | 27/02/2009 at 22:31
damn, did she really need to put a target on that? pretty sure my dick would've tracked that down like a heat-seeking missile on a russian bogey. in other words, thanks for the easy access, little red clitoral hood.
Posted by: | 27/02/2009 at 22:33
is our society getting so anal (haha) that we're investing millions of dollars into researching animal farts?
Posted by: cheekie | 27/02/2009 at 22:39
Assless chaps are the leather jackets of this generation. I can feel it in my bone.
Posted by: jim pole | 27/02/2009 at 22:58
Dude, fuck the Planet. If this is the shit we're going to have put up with to save it might as well let it all fall apart. Pleasure over responsibility.
Posted by: Voice of Reason | 01/03/2009 at 22:51
Sound crazy? Well, I can explain why this works. When you overfeed your body you raise an important hormone in your body called leptin, when leptin levels are high so is your fat-bu
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