Hey, here’s two teams who really don’t cotton to one another! No shit. The Steelers have beaten the Ravens twice already this season. When they played in 1937, the game actually involved rolling cannons filled with hot coal and birch cinders. Actually, the contents of each cannon were shot into the stands at fans who cheered too loud and did not adhere to the necktie dress code. Their burns were subsequently treated with gasoline and duck fat.
When they met in 1958, during the great laundry shortage, neither team wore britches, and a few players’ cleats were sharpened before the game.
When they met in 1981, President Ronald Reagan lengthened the game to six quarters to boost our country’s sagging morale. When the game cut into the broadcast of “That’s Incredible,” Reagan’s plan backfired and civilian revolts destroyed much of the Eastern seaboard.
When they met in 2002, the DC sniper made several threats, insisting that each team only try for field goals.
This picture of tickets from a Craigslist listing says it all.
It is indeed the SuperBowel for many of us, as no one in the country takes either NFC team seriously at all, and that is going to bite us in the ass. Mark my words.
My hopes are still pinned to the Ravens, but if any readers know any lifelong Pittsburgh residents who are over 65 and always angry, worked in the steel industry forever, and are huge Steelers fans, I would like to road trip to Pittsburgh Sunday join them at their home or a musty tavern to watch the game. I will, in this case, root for the Steelers.
My prediction, failing this, is:
Ravens 5
Steelers 3
(I am aware the Ravens did not exist by the way, in most of those earlier dates mentioned).
Predict the scores of this game in the comments below, and if you are correct (or give the most accurate answer) I will send you an (one) audio cassette (used) of any great SuperTramp record I can find on eBay.
BONUS NON-SEQUITIR PAUL GLEASON FOOTAGE
BONUS NFC LOSING SQUAD VIDEO COVERAGE (that you may have already seen):
You have to love that this guy is in a Phil Simms jersey.
JEFF JOHNSON
i like how these keep getting more abstract. the first one was practically a local news station's sports report, and all the idjuts came out of the woodwork complaining about vice doing a sports story. now that it's unraveled into the d.c. sniper and pantlessness, no one is saying anything.
Posted by: hank | 16/01/2009 at 19:06
ahahaha. the craigslist capture is great.
Posted by: superbowel | 16/01/2009 at 19:17
stillers crush it 20-10
Posted by: | 16/01/2009 at 19:27
stillers crush it 20-10
Posted by: neoist | 16/01/2009 at 19:29
typical loud and obnoxious steelers fan
Posted by: not an eagles fan | 16/01/2009 at 19:29
Well we know what happened already dont we... lol
Posted by: Rob Aker | 18/07/2011 at 16:14