i have almost the same story but the dickhead was named ben and my friend evan and i threw his bike into a drainage ditch. he was the neighorhood kid that always showed up uninvited. we never knew how he found out about all our get-togethers, but it never failed, he would show up and our parents wouldn't let us be mean to him or kick him out. we had to take our own vengeance when the adults weren't around. this guy just couldn't take a hint. dickhead, for sure.


Finally! You promised this like two weeks ago, and you came through.


your photoshopping skills are redonk.

lee fuckfallo

oh i knew a kid like this. i pistol-whipped him with a plastic gun (that had a wooden handle) until his nose bled like the red sea. now he's a cop and last time i went home i saw him at a sushi restaurant. i beamed him straight in the eye and psychically communicated with him: "That's right fucker. You may be a cop now but 20 years ago I bashed your fucking stupid Star Trek-loving face in with a plastic pistol. How do you feel about that, fuck? I bet your pig buddies shoveling eel rolls down their fat faces would enjoy that story. I bet. You little shit." Made my day.


i didnt read this

Dick Butkus

Middle child.


There is some choice phrasage in this entry. I'm looking at "cave juniors" "do his nyuh" and "Tucker had fury" in particular.

Tantoine Jackson

How weird is it that the most compelling feature on this site is some Danish girl riffing on the weird boys she grew up with. And how does she have this many pictures of her subjects?


Did I miss something? I'm pretty sure I've seen all the Dickheadz and I don't recall anything about the author being Danish.

Tantoine Jackson

Sorry, basing that off the author's last name, Pijpers. Also, I meant to type Dutch.

i'd seriously tie this kid up and squash him in a trash compacter and then spray his remnants all over his parents' front door

um ok, starting to feel more sorry for the kids your all on about here, bullying children isnt really that funny


Aside from the guy who says he would murder Tucker (little extreme) I think it's all in a healthy spirit. You realize the kid they're talking about is probably in his mid 20s by now right? This is all taking place in the past.


These lovely rantings are for those of us working respectable jobs with respectable lives that are too good and conscientious to give a-holes in our daily lives the thrashing they deserve. Yes, yes, she's trashing kids here, but who never had a relentless, feral turd that made our lives hell? Let's retrospectively give these m-fers the toast they so richly deserve so we can go on being the respectable adults that we are. I for one will continue to indulge in the delight of Dickheadz. Bring them on! And, oh yeah, Mike Dime, if I ever see you again.....

Willy Loman

This blog is fucking Shakespeare. This intern should go RAMBO all over VICE and go to a magazine/website people still respect.


I was in such a bad mood a minute ago, but now that I know I'm not the only one flipping some mental shit here, I feel a lot better. Also, I never had a neighbor that shitty. That makes me feel better too. THANKS.


funniest thing Ive heard in ages ,fucking funny!

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