If 2008 will be remembered for anything, it will go down as the year that faceless enigmas like Burial, Neckface and Banksy have been outed. You can now add my name to that list because my identity has just been revealed by Tinchy Stryder.
After discovering that I'd compared him to Kermit the Frog, the diminutive grime MC turned token-urban-act-of-choice-for-14-year-old-emo-kids-from-Rotherham-to-be-into- until-they-discover-Enter-Shikari flew into a fit of rage and posted an emotional and cutting rant on his blog. He started off by announcing: "I don’t think this man called John or ‘Prancehall’ likes me very much!" He then went on to falsely insinuate that I had been privately educated: "He likes to review grime releases and hates them all apart from those he can laugh at with his public school mateys."
Tinchy – who should be an expert on posh grime fans since his manager is the son of Norwich MP Norman Lamb – even went as far as comparing me to Prince Charles. (I'd like to think I'm more like lovable rogue Prince Harry, actually – but without the same penchant for dressing up in Nazi attire).
If that wasn't enough, he also cunningly uncovered a picture of myself (that I put up on my publicly viewable MySpace page over a year) which he made his MySpace profile image for a day with the intensely hurtful caption "John is Angry".
Vice has a longstanding history of run-ins with rappers. Earlier this year Thomas Morton was dissed in the press by Young Jeezy after he asked the rapper a question about boiled peanuts in a VBS interview. When Vice published a picture of Dizzee Rascal holding a knife in 2003, his manager threatened to tear Vice UK Editor Andy Capper "limb from limb". Jewish American emcee Necro also once threatened to stab us. And now this.
Well, I think it's time to quash this beef with Mr Stryder before things get out of hand. Tinch, if you're reading this I just wanna say that I'm really sorry, you don't actually sound like Kermit – you are much more similar to Kermit's little nephew Robin.
bwahahah.
Posted by: | 16/12/2008 at 12:09
I hope he responds and makes himself look even more ridiculous.
Posted by: Gamorrah | 16/12/2008 at 13:06
tinchy - u r a pussy
Posted by: | 16/12/2008 at 13:35
Necro however is good!
Posted by: jew boy | 16/12/2008 at 14:43
fuck that shit, neckface outed himself.
Posted by: | 16/12/2008 at 15:29
Capper from limb to limb? that would be a shame
Posted by: chefinthehouse | 16/12/2008 at 16:54
brilliant.
Posted by: DURRR | 16/12/2008 at 17:18
you better hope his PR people dont write a response post on his blog for him so he can attack you for them. you'd better.
Posted by: | 16/12/2008 at 18:03
what? is neckface gay ?
Posted by: Benny Boy | 16/12/2008 at 18:39
LOL @ comparing yourself to Burial and Banksy, you're a nobody mate.
Posted by: | 17/12/2008 at 14:35
Tinchy is bigger than you will ever be (not literally).
Posted by: | 17/12/2008 at 14:36
i aint gay, yo.
Posted by: neckface | 17/12/2008 at 15:09
Tinchy's manager should get David Cameron to ghostwrite some bars for Stryder
Posted by: muffin | 17/12/2008 at 16:12
Merk
Posted by: MEEEMAAWWW | 17/12/2008 at 23:01
I don't get why people hate on Prancehall for being critical. When he hears a good tune (like that new wretch 32 one 'Ina Di Ghetto') then he says it's good. He just speak his mind instead of being fake and sucking up to mcs just because of who they are. I actually listen to his opinion on grime because I know there is some level of criticism, if he just said everything was good then there would be no point reading his columns etc.
Posted by: John Adair | 17/12/2008 at 23:53
i love the little prancehall guy.
throw some conflict at him would probably be a good thing, he's been getting a bit lazy on the blogging front lately, so maybe a bit of prancehallian fury would be a good thing.
i like tinchy too btw BUT WHO FUCKING CARES WHAT I THINK i even dont
Posted by: cuntface | 18/12/2008 at 01:49
Logan had this to say about prancehall on grimeforum.
"He doesn't want war, he wants me. I know he does. I want to put his cock in my mouth as far back as it will go.
Unfortunately for Prancehall I am a faceless, nameless non-entity with the wonkiest eyes you will ever see."
He has a point.
Posted by: grimeforum | 18/12/2008 at 17:11
Oi boss, you got 20p?
Posted by: | 18/12/2008 at 18:02
nothing wrong with being kermit or robin - they both rule!
Posted by: bozmund | 18/12/2008 at 18:27
Tinchy Stryder and gang gang dance?
Posted by: huh | 18/12/2008 at 20:32
i think that posting blogs/items defending yourself against what you try to make out as 'trifling' and 'insignificant' attacks from 'nobodies' etc makes it seem a little bit like actually you do care quite a lot.
it makes you sound a bit insecure and juvenile. better to just ignore this stuff.
Posted by: besbvesdy | 19/12/2008 at 01:09
This was my idea. I'll see you in court, fucko.
Posted by: Ben F | 19/12/2008 at 22:45
Tinchy's manager should get David Cameron to ghostwrite some bars for Stryder
Posted by: vikki blows | 02/02/2010 at 03:15