Why is it when we posted like two sentences about how The Cribs smeared blood all over their faces at the Vice UK three-year anniversary party everyone swam up like sharks sniffing for a job? Or even when warned about how soul-annihilatingly awful something was, you still just had to click—and then you blamed us for baiting you? Yeah, we can be sick fucks sometimes but guess who's even sicker? You.
Our top ten most-read blog entries of the last 365 days are the most depraved, depressing, filthy, genetically aberrant, stupid, kinky shit we had to offer. We’re talking freaks of nature, a surprise orgy, brutal murder, images of war, sexy Japanese poop, a guide to sex for squares, and general frownie-face material that makes you feel really great about being a human right now. Tied for the most uplifting of the bunch is a spotting of the beloved Techno Viking and a found photo album full of images a dad took of his sharp-dressed Down's Syndrome daughter, a series presumably spanning her entire life from girlhood to crone. Top o' the heap: the orangutan sex slave, who was found chained to a wall in Borneo, shaven, covered in sores, and trained to spread ‘em for cash. Actually, that one got more hits than anything else in the last two years. Happy holidays!