Dear Vice,
In October you had those interviews with people after they just finished having sex with each other. That was nice but that situation accidentally happened to me the other week when I heard my old roommate doing it to some sad girl. Though I would like to wish away the noises I heard, the conversation that followed is pretty good. I only heard his half of the conversation; I think the girl spoke only with shrugs and whispers. Here are the things he said:

"Well, that was good. Worth the wait I think. What you wanna do now, get some ice cream?

You've never had an ice cream sundae?!!

I could use a small hit right now. I get drug tested randomly but I'm a special case. I've been smoking pot for so long that I can take a hit and have it not show on the drug test. I'm a marijuana prodigy.

I've been writing pretty good shit lately. Do you want me to sing?
[lyrics:] I'm on the road and the head shop is closed / get to the show lying on the floor / tripping on acid, cocaine molasses...

You like that?"

She says no.
He sings more.
And then they giggle. She's into him.

Love,
Ellis