Photographic genius Jamie Taete (the guy in the current issue who pukes on Hollywood stars and curator of one of the funniest, most sporadically updated photo blogs we know) put out a Craigslist ad asking for people to submit short stories he could make into photos. An Indian man named Anirban described his submission as "a story with a global appeal, humorous yet carrying a serious question with princess Diana as the main character. She dispels the myth that princesses are dumb and does something truly worthwhile that had the potential of changing our world, but she had to pay for it with her life." On our end it seemed like a mind-blastingly inane, racist fairy tale that calls bullshit on all Lady Diana Spencer's humanitarian work while simultaneously trying to rectify the horrors of the diamond industry, but that's for you to decide. Here are some highlights...
Photos by the maestro
I am Diana, princess of Wales… I was sitting in my parlor on a bright autumn morning wearing a milky white sleeveless Versace gown that Hasnat bought me in Milan, trying to make a very important decision. Which deodorant to use on my evening date with Dodi.
I looked down to the blue diamond hanging between my dunes. Some thing is moving inside it. I looked closely. Small black specks resembling humans. Yes humans! Black unattractive humans, males and females, doing some sort of digging work in a place that seems to be a quarry. They are all so skinny particularly the children who were also digging.
"But you can change all this princess! You can change all this! Be a true angel to us. Go to your the people, convince them of our plight, tell them not to buy jewelries from these multinationals who suck our bloods and starve our babies. Tell them there’s blood in those diamond pendants and bracelets. Tell them not buy diamonds unless these companies and their governments change their sucking policies and take measures to stop these bloody wars so that our men are not killed our women are not raped our children are not maimed and we can use our diamond money to feed our babies. Go princess go, tell your people because if you speak people will listen. They won’t listen to anyone else but they will listen to you. Because only you have got the magic princess, only you have the magic to convince people, and you know that don’t you? You have charmed Charles and Dodi and all the men in this world, now use your charm to do something worthwhile, something that is just, that is good, something you will be genuinely proud of. And you know what, God will reward you for this. He definitely will."
If I could I would have definitely thwarted this blackie. But that was not possible, he was speaking from inside the diamond.
This is no doubt a much tougher choice than between a Patou and a Dior.
I am looking at my image on the mirror, blood oozing from my earring. It's spilling on to my ears and dripping down my neck onto my dress and the child is screaming, "Don’t wear that stone princess, don’t wear that stone, there’s blood in it…"
The old saying "A diamond is a woman’s best friend" lost its appeal as women for the time being became more interested in terracotta than in diamonds.
I am not Diana, princess of Wales. I am a paunchy middle-aged Indian male. But I wish I were Diana. I wish I could change this world. Maybe Diana wanted to change the world too. But her worst fears came true. She got killed even before she got started. THE END