NEW YORK - FUCK YOU WIRED, WE WIN

OK, how's this for a burn? Right before all that Wired crap we wrote about earlier started going up on their site, we decided to interview Charlie Kaufman for our October Issue. I know, great minds etc. Anyways, want to know how long it took us? Five days. Start to finish. That is approximately 1/20th of the time it took them to come up with the exact same story (even the lengths are within 100 words of each other) and we will bet you $10 ours turns out a million times better and more interesting than the lukewarm pile of fluff incubating over on their site. Here's a breakdown of the process.

THE PITCH
We'd recreate the whole paper trail between the interviewer and editorial staff for you, but there isn't one. The interviewer, Eddy, walked over to the editor, Jesse,'s desk and said "Hey, do you want me to interview Charlie Kaufman for the mag?" Jesse said "OK," and then the next time they spoke was when Eddy emailed him the finished product.

THE "GET"
Eddy called Spike Jonze and got a number for Kaufman, then called his people and asked for a time. Sometimes this part can drag on for a couple of days while you go back and forth with dates and times but in this case it took no more than 20 minutes.

THE INTERVIEW
To prepare for the interview, Eddy took a shower, then took a cab to the hotel Kaufman was staying at. They talked for a little over an hour while Eddy recorded the conversation on a tape.

PHOTO ISSUES
It’s true that Kaufman refuses to sit for photo shoots, so we decided to get four forensic artists to sketch him based on a description from the interviewer instead. This entailed the following: googling the words "forensic artists," and emailing the ones who came up and seemed good/interesting. Our editorial assistant Rocco sent a form letter to about 20 of them and responses started rolling in within the hour. We picked the four we liked best, set a price, and a day later the first sketch (which was fucking hilarious, by the way) arrived in Rocco's inbox with two more shortly behind it. The hardest part of the whole thing was cornering Eddy and making him select different facial features from an official forensic composite book and that took a little less than an hour. Our design guy had all four sketches within five days, and that's only because the last guy was on vacation. He had the layout ready by the end of the day.

THE WRITING
Eddy came back to the office and gave the tape to Rocco to transcribe. Two hours later Rocco sent Eddy the text, Eddy popped an intro on it, and emailed it to Jesse.

THE EDITING
Jesse spent a little bit of time that night cleaning up the text and trimming a few of the questions and answers down. When he was done he sent it to our design guy who dropped it into the layout with the pictures. And that, lads and ladies, is how you make an article.

Comments

yeah but those guys are vbs, not the magazine. two totally different things. just saying.

But isn't that the same Eddy doing the interview for the magazine as the VBS Eddy in the picture from the wired article?

http://www.wired.com/entertainment/theweb/magazine/15-11/ff_vice

[Bilbosaur]

A) That's the same guy as in the wired article and B) I've been in that office and there are like 20 people working there tops. Totally different things my ass.

[Bilbosaur]

Shit, great minds again I guess.

why dont u tell us all why you were in the vice office? sounds like a story.

[The Riggs]

fuck you eric. jealous poo poo head. im gonna fucking wreck you with a microwavable oatmeal bar.

love riggs

ok. it's The Riggs again. and now that i've read up on this whole charade i can post a mature response to wireds attack.
wired is just an older more losery kind of magazine with a lame logo that looks cheap.
Wired is jealous of the young, yippee kiya atmosphere over at Vice and they are tired of trying so hard to get nowhere.
Wired is all grown up and done growing.
Vice has just started to workout.

ps. i am a devout vice fan and have been for atleast 5 years. graphic design is my language/job and vice is often my inspiration.

[The Riggs]

they actually wrote a shnazzy article about vice. oooops. oh well. wired still sucks, trying to use the vice vibes to make themselves look better. like that guy that aint gay but always wants you to go to the club with him so that he looks cool.
ok im getting obsessed with defending vice.
done.

[me]

this just goes to show that Vice has COMPLETELY lost its sense of humor.

[joel barish]

The article sounds awesome. Creative even.

[LS]

WTF is this masturbatory bullshit ... both of your magazines peaked years ago get the fuck over yourselves

[Taeil]

Every government service works like WIRED except it's 10 times worse (if not/especially) the military. If you want to know how much bullshit is involved with the socialist bureaucracy nightmare world we live. Look no further.

[Jake]

Good job Vice. So what's next, you guys are going to have a cock measuring contest and compare it to Wired's office?

[please]

vice's interview will be better because it's a Q&A so we get to hear kaufman actually talk and not just some schmuck expounding on his brilliance and hair color. end o' story.

[chaplin]

Actually, please, if you want to HEAR kaufman talk, you can listen to him on wired's profile of their profile. with vice, you can read what he said.

[sean]

I'm just wondering when we can see those drawings done.

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