Good morning ladies! Last night I spent the best $14 of my entire mid-20s, no shit. The old lady and I went out for a night on the town and we stopped by the Australian Center for the Moving Image (ACMI) or "where all the film buffs hang out in Melbourne". I didn't see that many losers there but I guess if they say it's true it must be. Anyway, we caught a movie call The Hunger. I wasn't too sure of what to expect besides the fact that it was a vampire movie starring some poof named David Bowey or something, so my expectations weren't too high. Well, let me tell you--my fellow gothic little boys and girls--that from the second this movie started my bell tower was fully engorged and the bats were ready to spill forth something fierce!
First of all, the opening shot of the movie is of Peter Murphy looking like a heroin champion while "Bela Legosi's Dead" is dancing through the speakers. If you're not paying attention by now you should probably leave the theatre and rent Finding Nemo. The scene develops into Catherine Deneuve and David Bowie, snaring a fresh piece of gothic meat and a total NYC night club turd from the Bauhaus gig and getting them back to their Upper Westside vampire sex lair. It took my a while to figure out, but the little gothic minx that Bowie slays in the opening scene is this chick. You know, the chick who you've seen in every thing but you can't possibly remember what it was or who she is. Well, you'll be pleased to know that you get a glimpes of her happy flappies in this first scene, as well.
The movies goes on to reveal that, although he is a vampire and contrary to popular belief, David Bowie is rapidly aging. He seeks out sleep therapist Dr. Sarah Roberts, played by Susan Sarandon, to show her that he has grown a decade in the span of an afternoon. Sarandon, rightfully so, tells Bowie to go fuck himself and dismisses his claims. But, after a few exchanges with vampiress Deneuve, Sarrandon becomes completely fixated on this subject makes a few house calls to the sex lair.
Now, what makes this movie so different from every other movie ever made you ask? Well, I'm pretty sure no other movie ever made has a LESBIAN SEX SCENE with Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve in it. please take a look for yourself if you don't believe me:
Pretty much after this scene the movie is finished. Apart from a good retard zombie scene towards the end, the movie drags for a bit giving your boners time to go down and your eyes to come back into focus.
In conclusion I give this movie two sore thumbs up and I also would like to thank Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve for having the artistic integrity to help Alien Sex Fiend fans everywhere learn how to spell their name on the bathroom floor. David Bowie gets an honorable mention, too, for only being in half this movie. Thanks there big guy! If you've got 15 bucks and a few loads to spare tonight, you should head down to ACMI and join me for another viewing of this classic. I'll be sitting towards the back in the long coat commiting a crime.
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