Balloons, rainbows, Barney the dinosaur, fairies, bunnies, er, Barney the dinosaur holding a balloon and dancing with fairies in a field of bunnies with a rainbow overhead: all things you might expect to see on a 4-year-old's birthday cake. But kids don't like that shit. Kids like computer games and cars and money and guns and killing people. So what better way to celebrate Lil Derrick's big day than a cake which perfectly sums up all of these things?
Click below for some more really clever and original cake designs.
Clowns are scary. Accept it. Don't fuck with kids' heads by giving them a smiley clown cake and pretending everything is OK. No, give them the most terrifying, surreal-looking clown imaginable and teach them once and for all what those weird fuckers are really about.
If your boss has overstepped the mark on more than one occasion, what better way to drop the hint than with a subtle birthday message you present to him as his wife comes to the office to collect him for a surprise weekend away.
Giving birth is a big deal. People tend to forget this - especially your ungrateful kids. If you feel little Eric has been taking you for granted all year then bake him a cake which will really show how much you have gone through for him. Then force every last piece of it down his throat as he sits crying and trying to puke up. Never again will he leave his Lego men on the floor in the living room.
See more interesting cake designs here.