As anyone who has ever arrived early for a Gossip or Long Blondes show will know, Wet Dog are three girls who play the sort of tetchy post-punk that makes you want stop using deodorant. They finally got their shit together to release an album so we dropped in and had a word.
Wet Dog - "Alibi"
Vice: Why should anyone care about you guys?
Rivika: I suppose they're are a lot of bands about at the moment, but have they all got three vaginas?
Some of them have got four...
Rivika: Mmm, but we're a six-breasted three piece. You're not going to find any eight-breasted three pieces are you?
Billy: Actually I went out with someone with four nipples.
extra nipples always a bit of a let down? Like you're expecting the
world's biggest freakshow and you just get a slightly sweaty mole.
Billy: They had hairs around them, like proper nipples. And they were quite sensitive.
Can they become aroused?
Billy: They enjoyed being touched. I think they had a mind.
Ok, so, three vaginas, six breasts, that's a good start...
Sarah: We've got a 22-track album. That's good value.
Rivika: And I'm going to get us on Jo Whiley's show by seducing her. She's fit.
I read in a red-top that she's got three nipples.
Rivika: See, there you go. We've got a pre-existing interest in extra nipples. That's our in.
Sarah: We could offer to get one removed for her.
Rivika: No, that would offend her. We should encourage growth.
But you have been doing this being-in-a-band shit since day. What's been going on?
Billy: They've been doing this for time. Then I joined and everything started to happen.
Rivika: We started hanging out with boys and neglected our instruments for about a year. Plus it took three years to pick the right font for the album cover.
Billy: And the right kerning on the font.
Sarah: Basically we argued for so long over the font that, by the time we decided, we already had 22 songs to stick on the album.
Billy: I disappeared into a drugs hole. Which was quite nice.
Do you like being in the band now?
Rivika: We love it.
Sarah: Actually, it's kinda shit. It gets in the way. I just want to get on with my career in the office. Still, it pays the bills I guess. Can I tell my joke now?
Go for it.
Sarah: Went out with some friends last night for a bit of Turkish food. Things got a bit meze.
*Wet Dog's Enterprise Reversal is out now.