Wow, good luck not watching all six parts of this documentary on Oliver the Humanzee in a row right now. I can't believe "humanzee" is an honest-to-god scientific term.
PS: The best part of the video is when the slightly gay guy describes Oliver's attempted rape of his female owner while sitting at a grand piano and the best part of Oliver's wikipedia page is this line: "Oliver's trip coincided with a concert promotion of the rock 'n roll group The Monkees, and he was presented on Japanese television shows with Micky Dolenz providing inaccurate scientific observations."
fucking weird. how come i never heard about this. wasnt the missing link theory abandoned by most scientists??
Posted by: dick | 27/06/2008 at 23:21
you guys are OBVIOUSLY dropping the ball here and haven't bothered to watch the second part. Why?
Because you missed the fact that LIGERS ARE FOR REAL!!!!
Posted by: holy shit | 28/06/2008 at 00:04
We already knew that Ligers were real, they've got one at Jungle Island in Miami.
Posted by: Vice | 28/06/2008 at 00:18
that shit was boring.
Posted by: Ance Larmstrong | 28/06/2008 at 04:38
michael fucking jackson y'all
Posted by: ... | 28/06/2008 at 15:59
ha, the best part about the gay guys description is how right after it says the monkey tried to mount the woman it says "vincent considered buying him". i think I know his motive.
Posted by: sweet gene vincent | 29/06/2008 at 15:00
I just saw a TV special on Oliver, and MAN OH MAN OH MAN, is that thing CREEEEEEEPY. Not saying Oliver's bad for creeping me right the fuck OUT, no. He can't help looking so much like a Missing Link that my stomach dropped. Just pointing out that this is NOT A REGULAR CHIMP. Look at that animal's eyes. Even blind, holy fuck, people, that human je-ne-sais-quoi about his eyes, his facial bones, his total expression. NOT A NORMAL CHIMP.
Normal chimps, of course, are Pure Id On A Stick disconcerting enough. What I'd give for just a little more on that 70-going-on-30 years old lonely lady whose "son" Travis had some kind of Oedipal meltdown when his Xanax paranoia combined with alpha-chimp sexual jealousy and he ate Mommy's ex-friend's face, starting with the eyes. NOBODY gets between Travis and his mate... who continues to DEFEND HIM LIKE A CRAZY MAN'S MOLL, after police gunned him down. Travis was "misunderstood," she insists, and we're supposed to believe that romantic lobster dinners for two, with fine wine in stemmed glasses, was merely an expression of MOTHERING a spoiled "baby." Uh.
Id on a stick, all of them. Id on a stick.
But Oliver? He is something else entirely. I think it's his hosts' duty to provide the public with a 24-hour webcam of EVERYTHING he does. Oh please oh please. In fact, I'd like to see this from any other "motherly" keeper of a "spoiled baby" chimp. I'm betting it's freaky freaky beyond belief.
Posted by: Sad Lisa | 04/03/2009 at 02:01
I just saw a TV special on Oliver, and MAN OH MAN OH MAN, is that thing CREEEEEEEPY. Not saying Oliver's bad for creeping me right the fuck OUT, no. He can't help looking so much like a Missing Link that my stomach dropped. Just pointing out that this is NOT A REGULAR CHIMP. Look at that animal's eyes. Even blind, holy fuck, people, that human je-ne-sais-quoi about his eyes, his facial bones, his total expression. NOT A NORMAL CHIMP.
Normal chimps, of course, are Pure Id On A Stick disconcerting enough. What I'd give for just a little more on that 70-going-on-30 years old lonely lady whose "son" Travis had some kind of Oedipal meltdown when his Xanax paranoia combined with alpha-chimp sexual jealousy and he ate Mommy's ex-friend's face, starting with the eyes. NOBODY gets between Travis and his mate... who continues to DEFEND HIM LIKE A CRAZY MAN'S MOLL, after police gunned him down. Travis was "misunderstood," she insists, and we're supposed to believe that romantic lobster dinners for two, with fine wine in stemmed glasses, was merely an expression of MOTHERING a spoiled "baby." Uh.
Id on a stick, all of them. Id on a stick.
But Oliver? He is something else entirely. I think it's his hosts' duty to provide the public with a 24-hour webcam of EVERYTHING he does. Oh please oh please. In fact, I'd like to see this from any other "motherly" keeper of a "spoiled baby" chimp. I'm betting it's freaky freaky beyond belief.
Posted by: Sad Lisa | 04/03/2009 at 02:02
While we're on the subject though, it would really make our day if somebody drew a diagram
Posted by: discountcigarettesbox | 01/04/2011 at 11:31