So the council have started putting up posters congratulating themselves for clearing up the puke and dog shit on our streets. Their PR guys have deliberately (let's hope) confused the term Charm Offensive. Unfortunately, they forgot that you're not supposed to boast about stuff you suck at. The reality on the streets is that puke is everywhere, it's worse than ever, and no one ever cleans it up. Our pavements are pockmarked with puddles of vomit at various stages of decomposition, from the fresh-from-last-night puke to the tell-tale splash stains left by older puke corroding the sidewalk.