New York Blood
dir Nick Oddo
This one may not have quite the "depth" or "scope" or "professional editing" of N.Y.H.C., but what it lacks in all of these qualities it more than makes up for in heart and end-of-scene transitions that simulate a camera taking a B&W photograph. For the 99.9999-odd percent of you who didn't catch its screening at the New York Underground Film Festival back in March, New York Blood is a camcorder gangster/splatter-film epic starring Vinnie Stigma of Agnostic Front, Madball, and an estimated bazillion amazing quotes as the proprietor of Little Italy brothel that appears to be located in an NYU dormroom. Not to give away too much of the plot (which is difficult in light of the movie's 50-minute runtime), but he also dabbles in some small-time drug-dealing to finance a nightclub, all while trying to keep up with his Italian ex-wife, their Asian son, and murderous ex-con father.
Having previously watched a sampling of his hammiest moments in the trailer, I'd assumed that Vinnie was going to be on the receiving end of some Windy City Heat-style treatment, but he comes across like Brando compared with the rest of the cast as well as just about other element of this film. At times, it almost felt like Highlights had commissioned the Tromo team to create a video version of those "What's wrong with this picture?" puzzles from the back of the magazine. I kept a notebook of all the questions raised during my viewing, among the entries:
-What kind of drug trafficker keeps his supply in giant ziplock bags?
-Does Vinnie Stigma really not know how to cut a line of coke?
-Why did they cut to that random girl taking her shirt off for three seconds?
-Is that girl 15?
-What kind of brothel has family dinners with the girls and clients?
and-What kind of brothel has three hookers?
Needless to say, the movie is amazing and has forever earned a place on our "Movies for 2 AM bong rips" shelf. This doesn't even touch on all the technical issues, like the fact that every set is lit like it's next-door to the sun and not once do any characters' line of sight match up when they're talking. If you can somehow get your hands on a copy, I advise watching it with someone who has any sort of background in film just to watch their head explode every 15 seconds.
Unfortunately, the trailer's been taken off Youtube, but you can recreate the experience by going to Stigma's myspace page, click play on te movie's title track (which is tragically not in the movie itself) and then try to visualize Vinnie's face yelling "What're you trying ta do, get me killed ovah here?" over and over. Honestly, this way's even better because you can make out all the lyrics in his shout-out to the "capital city." Also we would be remiss if we did not take this opportunity to revisit this classic.