Since it's finally getting warm enough to do anything outside other than push your hands into your pockets as far as they can go and scream "Jesus Christ! Are you fucking serious! Come On!" we decided to hit the streets and ask a small sampling of New York folks about the best/worst fight they've been in. We weeded out the most BS-y of them, and still, this is what we got.
Terrel: The summer of last year I had a fight with a kid named Pinky. Had to kick his ass real bad—sorry about the cussin’. He was kind of drunk and arguing with his girlfriend and then tried to bring the fight to me while I was sitting on a bench. It was really quick actually—about a minute I would say. I got up and gave him a two-piece and a biscuit, that’s a right and a left and an uppercut. The “biscuit” can vary, but that’s mine. The uppercut swole my hand up so it must have been good one. Two days later he apologized for his drunkenness. That was one of my best ones and it was a quick one.
Mathew: I was at a Reagan Youth/Agent Orange free show. There was this six-foot tall skinhead that just kept knocking into my friends, and we kept on pushing him back into the pit. Finally he was like, “OK we’re going outside,” and he smashes me over the head with a beer bottle. Then I fucking elbow him in the face, he falls down, and I punch him in the eye. He gets up, we shake hands, get a beer together, and go back inside. It was awesome.
Kelly: I got into a fight with this girl last fall. She was dating my ex-boyfriend and had this problem of following me whenever I'd go into the bathroom. She came into the bathroom after me for the third time in a month, so I told her how ugly she was and called her a gutter-whore. Her friends were holding her back but I jumped over them and nailed her. Then she slapped me when I wasn’t looking, but I managed to put her in an arm bar and punch her in the face until they forced us out of the place.
Alberto: One time I went to a party and six punk kids broke my collarbone. I was going out with one of the guys’ sisters and I broke up with her at that party (it was her birthday) so they hunted me down a couple blocks away from my house, pinned me to a tree, and beat me with a baseball bat. I was in physical therapy for almost a year, I had to have my arm wrapped to my chest, and it fucking sucked. I still laugh about it to this day.
Kelvin: About five years ago I fought this kid that had some sort of problems and they led up to a confrontation in my neighborhood. We got into a big fistfight where I knocked him out. He got back up and regained consciousness. When he did though, I grabbed him and and we rolled into the street where a car almost ran over his head. The car swerved and missed. That was one of my best fights because I stood up for something I believed in.
Taryn: When I was in ninth grade this girl I'd been enemies with for years hit a little boy with her car. I was walking down the hall when I found out about it and she came up to me crying and was like, “So you think it’s funny that I hit a little kid?” I said “Yeah, I think it fucking is,” and walked away, but she followed me and grabbed my hair. So I said, “I suggest you let go of my hair.” And she was like, “What are you gonna do about it?” I said, “I am gonna give you one more chance to let go of my hair.” Then she pulled my hair so I grabbed her head and punched her in the face. A teacher grabbed me, so then I spit on her, kicked her, walked down to the office, and said, “I hate this fucking school.” I got suspended for six days and she didn’t get anything. My mom hated me for a week.