POP VOX - HEY, TELL US ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE FIGHT

Since it's finally getting warm enough to do anything outside other than push your hands into your pockets as far as they can go and scream "Jesus Christ! Are you fucking serious! Come On!" we decided to hit the streets and ask a small sampling of New York folks about the best/worst fight they've been in. We weeded out the most BS-y of them, and still, this is what we got.

Terrel: The summer of last year I had a fight with a kid named Pinky. Had to kick his ass real bad—sorry about the cussin’. He was kind of drunk and arguing with his girlfriend and then tried to bring the fight to me while I was sitting on a bench. It was really quick actually—about a minute I would say. I got up and gave him a two-piece and a biscuit, that’s a right and a left and an uppercut. The “biscuit” can vary, but that’s mine. The uppercut swole my hand up so it must have been good one. Two days later he apologized for his drunkenness. That was one of my best ones and it was a quick one.

Mathew: I was at a Reagan Youth/Agent Orange free show. There was this six-foot tall skinhead that just kept knocking into my friends, and we kept on pushing him back into the pit. Finally he was like, “OK we’re going outside,” and he smashes me over the head with a beer bottle. Then I fucking elbow him in the face, he falls down, and I punch him in the eye. He gets up, we shake hands, get a beer together, and go back inside. It was awesome.

Kelly: I got into a fight with this girl last fall. She was dating my ex-boyfriend and had this problem of following me whenever I'd go into the bathroom. She came into the bathroom after me for the third time in a month, so I told her how ugly she was and called her a gutter-whore. Her friends were holding her back but I jumped over them and nailed her. Then she slapped me when I wasn’t looking, but I managed to put her in an arm bar and punch her in the face until they forced us out of the place.

Alberto: One time I went to a party and six punk kids broke my collarbone. I was going out with one of the guys’ sisters and I broke up with her at that party (it was her birthday) so they hunted me down a couple blocks away from my house, pinned me to a tree, and beat me with a baseball bat. I was in physical therapy for almost a year, I had to have my arm wrapped to my chest, and it fucking sucked. I still laugh about it to this day.

Kelvin:  About five years ago I fought this kid that had some sort of problems and they led up to a confrontation in my neighborhood. We got into a big fistfight where I knocked him out. He got back up and regained consciousness. When he did though, I grabbed him and and we rolled into the street where a car almost ran over his head. The car swerved and missed. That was one of my best fights because I stood up for something I believed in.

Taryn: When I was in ninth grade this girl I'd been enemies with for years hit a little boy with her car. I was walking down the hall when I found out about it and she came up to me crying and was like, “So you think it’s funny that I hit a little kid?” I said “Yeah, I think it fucking is,” and walked away, but she followed me and grabbed my hair. So I said, “I suggest you let go of my hair.” And she was like, “What are you gonna do about it?” I said, “I am gonna give you one more chance to let go of my hair.” Then she pulled my hair so I grabbed her head and punched her in the face. A teacher grabbed me, so then I spit on her, kicked her, walked down to the office, and said, “I hate this fucking school.” I got suspended for six days and she didn’t get anything. My mom hated me for a week.

Comments

[rod]

such BS
all the fights I've started I've lost...BAD
all the ones I've been thrown into I've won 30% of the time

so fcuk it

[DeFalco]

What's up with all the typos in this article? Vice, get yer shit together.

[iamJ.RishotJ.R]

I've lost all my fights, but I've got my eye on my girlfriends ex and i've been training hard, one of these days...ooomf

[Jetpack]

Alberto's is the only the story that isn't pure bullshit, and maybe Kelvin's. Mathew couldn't beat a sponge, and bottles don't smash when you hit someone with them. They go FOONK and they squirrel out of your hands and then the guy's friends pound you into paste.

[furb]

the problem with all the comments claiming bullshit here is that they stink of being written by people who have never once fought in their whole lives. hate to break it to y'all, but some people out there are actually good at fighting and given that half the participants in a fight invariably win them, why does it surprise you that some folks' "favorite fight" would be one that they won?

this is like back when vice had that story about the guy fucking five hookers in south america and everybody in the comments was like "this has to be a lie" because they've never been anywhere sketchier than a college-town strip club. grow up.

[bottles do smash]

people like to bottle each other a lot where i live in uk. bleeding skinheads are a common sight. I've never beaten anyone up because i'm too laid back, i normally get angry when it's all over and get annoyed that i didnt act.
I think i need a good beating to make me less scared, it cant be that bad.

[cherrybomb]

Taryn is basically my worst nightmare.

matthew is full of shit

[Re: "bottles don't break"]

bottles break over heads if you swing em with commitment. It's all about commitment. If you want something bad enough, you can have it. follow your dreams

[ghb]

hey Jetpack.....that story was in the "Lies" issue you fucking moron!

[Sheltered Kids]

I have a friend who's broken at least 20 bottles over his own head. I've seen him do it at least 6 times myself. One night, completely wasted and inspired by my friend, I broke a beer bottle over my head. I did it with a lot of force and it broke pretty easily, but the shattered glass cut my head and immediately I was covered in blood. GT's.

Fighting is shit. I always feel better mentally after losing a fight. Who wants to be the shithead that beat someone up so bad they had to go to the hospital. Lame beans.

[bleh]

There's no such thing as bros after fights ( especially beer bottle fights), Matthew would break his wrist if he slugged a rotten pumkin.

[discount gucci]

Eleanor: I agree that English people are lame, but they have a right to Saint Patrick, what with him being British and all. And "slaying a dragon" is far superior to "chasing snakes".

I think Austrailians are the lamest, because they are a weak ex-colony of Brits. Sorry, mates. 2945abc45 0423