This edition of NFTP comes to us courtesy of a tattoo artist who's friends with one of our ad girls. The woman to whom the pictured foot belongs came into his shop a couple years back to get some touch-up work done on her talons (she was still saving up to color them in at that point—wouldn't you kill to see the palette she decided on?). After choking back an earthquake of laughter, our bud asked her why she'd gotten a fucking dragon's foot tattooed across her real foot at which point she requested a pen and sheet of paper. Here's what she wrote them:
My dragon is an icon of fierce femininity. She can wear a jeweled tiara & gemstones in her claws & carry a ruby-encrusted sword all at the same time. She is centered and loving, never aggressive but upholding all her ideals and boundaries against all who would transgress. None may bring her down, for she soars with a power that is divinely inspired. She is ever vigilant towards all who would harm me, but loves me enough to learn life's hardest lessons. She weeps when I bleed; she sings when I triumph. I am her. She is me.
We'll give a free year's subscription to the person who can set this to the best Tori Amos song. Submit mp3s or (preferably) youtube links to vice@viceland.com. Half a year for Loreena McKennitt.
her own toes are gross enough, why would she want to add more
Posted by: aaa | 29/01/2008 at 22:39
I can't even imagine the amount of cats this woman has.
Posted by: World of Warcraft 24/7 | 30/01/2008 at 00:34
Wow - the only thing uglier than a normal girl's foot.
This is every chick over 35 in Portland, by the way. If you don't respect her dragon foot spirit totem she'll punch you. And you are, of course, not allowed to punch back.
No wonder Jim Goad did so well here.
Posted by: Eli! | 30/01/2008 at 06:44
I have a dragon tatoo on my dick and its for fucking, HELL YEAH! ROAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOOAOAR!
Posted by: I am Dragon | 30/01/2008 at 12:19
That is the ugliest female foot i've ever seen...
Posted by: .. | 30/01/2008 at 12:52
"but loves me enough to learn life's hardest lessons."
Is the dragon learning life's hardest lessons (quantum physics)???
I don't get it, why would the imaginary dragon need to learn anything?
FM
Posted by: Frank Morgan | 30/01/2008 at 13:36
the only good excuse I ever heard for a hippyish tattoo was a friend of mine who had a sun on his foot. he said:
it gives heat and light to everyone equally free of charge.
that I can live with.
my inner dragon loves me and shit is, well, just fucking retarded.
Posted by: petro | 30/01/2008 at 15:49
That's a guys foot, don't be stupid.
Posted by: manwith2brains | 30/01/2008 at 18:15
Lesbian Seagull!
Posted by: | 30/01/2008 at 18:40
This makes me embarassed to be a woman. This dragon could easily be from Flagstaff, AZ too.
Posted by: becks | 30/01/2008 at 18:46
This story and photo is B.S., that foot in the photo belongs to the dude that plays drums for Hightower. Its not a dragon, its a Gnargoyle.
But I guess Vice has never been known as a beacon of truth in reporting.
Posted by: Rob Black | 30/01/2008 at 19:25
Wow dragon foot you bring a whole new level to "in desperate need of getting laid"
I'm gonna have to get a whole lot more drunk this weekend to get that image of your gnarly foot out of my head!!
Posted by: Little'un | 31/01/2008 at 14:22
Ive got a white mans face tattooed on my face to stop discrimination. Fuck lezzer dragon feet!
Posted by: Manbearpig | 01/02/2008 at 01:17
I have a tattoo of my face on my face and on the back of my head (just incase I lie on my front). The eyes have been drawn open so that when I am sleeping I can still see her dumb dragon weeping - I thought that would learn her!
Posted by: ratpig | 01/02/2008 at 17:59