It's been a pretty disturbing week here at Vice HQ in London. On Monday, our new editorial guy James (who broke his ankle at a recent Fucked Up gig) got his cast taken off to reveal the leg of an obese, 80-year-old homeless woman had been hiding under there all along (click on the image over there to see just how fucking scaly and disgusting it is). Then, today, and most heinous of all, our events guy Jack came in with the most revolting, ridiculous haircut we have maybe ever seen. Click below to witness the horror for yourself.
WARNING: Some readers may need to sit down before they see this.
We know, it's pretty disgusting. Believe it or not, he paid someone to make him look like this. It's like he went into the barber shop with a list of the worst haircuts known to man and asked for all of them at once. There's the spiteful Swedish architect fringe (figure a.2), the sly Hasidic Jew sideburns (figure a.1), and to finsh up, the Legoland figurine reverse fringe (figure b.2) at the back. Oh and btw, that thing on his ear (figure b.1) isn't a tick or some kind of wart, it's a weird bar through his ear.
he actually has special miniture curlers for his little jew-burns. he sits with his mum in his front room with them on talking on the phone going 'yeah theres like this amazing new kind of music sweeping the nation.....its called indy'
Posted by: will | 10/07/2007 at 17:33
yeah, wearing my curlers, dressing gown, watching corrie and shagging the milkman
Posted by: jack vice | 10/07/2007 at 17:35
you can blame the wierd back bit on a scar or somethin, the tuft? simply cut it off dude whats wrong with you! the fringe though... hmmm fucked! ha ha ah ah
Posted by: | 10/07/2007 at 17:49
to be fair the tuft was pulled out and plumed for extra special jew effect
Posted by: | 10/07/2007 at 18:02
Owned
Posted by: The Mayor | 10/07/2007 at 18:08
who really cares?
owned? i'll own your arse you prick
Posted by: | 10/07/2007 at 18:20
Is James into bears by any chance? He's really groping that metal guy in the Broken Ankle entry...
Posted by: J | 10/07/2007 at 18:25
what kind of events does jack promote. receipt of ugly girl bum bum thumb pummels? grots electro pardies with crap english drugs?
what other cutting edge events is this joey tribbiani via temple fortune via the hospital with severe anus bleeding hairstyled young dickass in charge of?
kele "parka posey" okereke dj set courting? and by courting I mean slucking his gross whinging mini oreo stack in the hope of a bit of double stuf creeeeeam
I gorrrit, kate nash ugliest body in the world period piece tv party tonight? artful cheap monday jean strewing on floor of brother's bedroom? promos for homos and now he's got the curtains to match the drapes over his dad's knee.
seriously all jokes that I a hundred percent mean aside you look gayer than christmas kid, you look gayer than christmas cooing while getting fucked in the ass by chanukah. you aint even getting a reacharound.. that haircut is unadulterated "I'm a cumjar"
Posted by: Vadge Biggles | 10/07/2007 at 19:13
whoa, that guy really doesnt like the hairstyle... I think he looks kinda cute
Posted by: Liz | 10/07/2007 at 19:28
actually honeycunt I just hate the guy, the hairstyle kind of makes me want to circumsize your dick size clit and hotdog on that pork pie till catsup clots dribble down the back of my bacon grease asshole
MY NAME IS SHYSHEE FOE DON'T Y KNOW INNIT BRO CHINNIN IT BRO DINNIT BRO GO SO GAY. pee pee S why does britain suck so hard at black music. alls you can make is white wash genes
Posted by: moe blackass | 10/07/2007 at 22:26
This haircut isn't nearly as bad, or good, as the ring of destiny 'do.
Posted by: Carlos Rossi | 10/07/2007 at 22:41
...and coming in a close second to the Australian Vice team for the most boring, self-absorbed & just-plain-not-funny articles about their friends is... *dumb roll please*....... VICE UK!!!
who wouldve thought? next we'll be hearing about "our friends" at the old blue lasts new fashion coolests most boring shit ive ever read in my life, with the obligatory photo of course
can i go home now?
Posted by: doosh | 11/07/2007 at 00:40
seriously is there anyone in charge over there? how much are you fucks paid?
Posted by: jack mehoff | 11/07/2007 at 01:29
the hair is great
the leg is great.
phwoar. more like this please.
p.s one thing i've never got is whinging dickheads who moan about stuff like this but carry on reading it (and going to the effort of writing how much they didn't enjoy reading it). call me stupid - which i'm sure you will - but why don't you stop coming on this site and reading this 'boring shit'? maybe that'd cheer you up.
Posted by: black beauty | 11/07/2007 at 01:37
who's whinging I'm dissing you're toilet I'm pissing and shitting and hitting your father and she love it and her pooey nana smell like french vagina slice cream with a slash gash reduction
"phwoar" is that sound of your sewage guts sucking the plucked ass of some expansion team drone who got his haircut by donny downs
Posted by: evan moe blackass | 11/07/2007 at 03:08
hey 'black butthole'
the truth hurts huh?
good.
i keep coming to this website and reading these articles bcos a lot of the time they're really really really fcking good.
actually i think the vice site is the best thing on the internet.
except for shit like this (which isnt often) but yknow, opinions are like assholes.
& on this one my metaphorical asshole says WHAT THE F*CK WERE YOU THINKING?
you suck it ricky, big time
Posted by: doosh | 11/07/2007 at 03:49
i have to say, and i know i'll be slated for this but, I...I kind of like it... (the haircut that is, the crusty ankle made me dry wretch)
Posted by: ming wah | 11/07/2007 at 14:54
when i read "the most ridiculous, most revolting haircut" i'm thinking some flock of seagulls type of shit, but this? jeez england is uptight
Posted by: | 11/07/2007 at 22:22
1. the haircut isn't half bad. it just looks like a regular buzzcut. the side tufts were obviously manipulated for the photo. the boy has a pretty face, any haircut will do, skanky ankle and all.
2. people need to relax. who takes this post seriously? who takes vice seriously? seriously. in all seriousness. it's an in-joke. get over it. it's their blog, they'll post whatever they feel like posting.
3. grammar. you don't go to school for nothin'.
4. this is coming from a person who is not much of a fan of vice.
Posted by: i to the s | 12/07/2007 at 20:38
that guy above speaks the truth...IT'S AN IN JOKE everyone need to chilllllll outttttttttt.
Posted by: | 14/07/2007 at 00:41
MORE TUFTS, PLEASE.
Posted by: pmx666 | 16/07/2007 at 18:40
Work those jew sideburns! In a couple weeks, when they grow a bit, you can twiddle them between finger and thumb in a provocative manner. The guys/girls/cats will come flocking. (The middle one is a lie).
May I suggest wrapping the hair around the thumb as this will act as a natural curling mechanism for when you're out and about, on the go.
If you want more tips just holla.
Posted by: Nay | 01/07/2009 at 16:30
Create crazy hair toys for kids and his classmates with fun extension activities for Crazy Hair Day! These printable worksheets include a connect-the-dots activity, an art project, a coloring sheet, and a matching game -- all about crazy hairstyles
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