He's cute, but this is most certainly not good. In fact, it's just as boring as sitting in court for a day. Congrats on that.

whoa, between this and the "I have a secret" article, Wesleyan is completely infiltrating Vice.


Between this and the "I have a secret" article, Wesleyan is completely infiltrating Vice.


looks like a young P.I.


this is interesting. funny ending.

Send him here:


send him to a shelter, or to an AIDs clinic

Send him to a black barber shop in Brooklyn somewhere. Tell him to get a hair cut and chit chat with the locals.

jesus fever

send him to a probation department or an employment agency. or better yet an unemployment office.



send him to the gynecologist. let's see how witty he will be when he sees a vagina...

for the first time, possibly?

any way around, it could be a recipe for hilarity.


What is better than an AIDS clinic?!?!

AIDS clinic-2
Everything else-0

Cooler King

Send him around with a DCFS agent investigating incidences of child abuse, mistreatment and neglect. Not that it will be funny, but it will certainly knock the enthusiasm out of him.

shit for brains

send him to buy crack.

T Bone

Thanks Golbe, I enjoyed that. I think they should send you to write the rest of Vice Magazine.


now just hire Leddy and Wesleyan will catapult to angeldustmania status and VICE will be good ya dig

Judas Beast

Wow, what an inciteful well written piece of journalism.

Oh no, wait, I being sarcastic. Fuck off.

come on

too bad you cynical assholes don't like funny little blurbs. golbe--good shot


How about you send him to whatever planet finds this funny? Or you could send him to a magazine where all of the decent writers are working on an internet tv thing and can't be bothered to fuck with a clothes issue.

locals only

send him home and tell him never to come back to new york. fuckin pussys or send him to the bronx with the die hard pie bord that says i hate niggas or watever

Send Clark 'Golbe' Kent to a brothel

Marlin Bierhat

except for the Judge & Jury part, why not the Golden Golbes?
-awards for shittiest dailies/dailiest shits?
-Golbes Guides to Flyover States [cities] including US & Canada (get out of Capper'n and Timothy's hair).
-Golbe's Goiters: what are people with plates doing these days? are they into grunge?
- Golbe Travle: the Chuck's Guide to Travle.
- Golbe goes Golba: Jon's journey to Journey (and Goa).


send him to a methodone clinic


That was dull - get a new intern or get a better idea. And how about you release a vice issue that isn't shit - the last three have been turd. You're too busy concentrating on trendy London bollocks and have forgotten to write good stuff.

Send Golbe to prison.

RFK Killah

find the worst most veal wrenching and righteous off-off-broadway plays (ones called My Kinky Hair, My Kinky Life etc) and get him to research profile & interview the playwright at length, go back for follow up interviews etc. nothing turns earnestness into world-weary cynicism faster than the earnestness of someone much dumber


you aren't utilizing Golbe's real talents. Namely, his uncanny ability to appear as a fresh-faced 16 year old. Exploit this age juxtaposition by sending him on beer runs, cigarette runs, X-rated movie runs, R-rated movie runs, child pornography runs, child pornography auditions, etc.

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