BLOGGER'S REGRET: SARCASM

Yesterday I wrote a book review about this lame guide to making mash-ups but on second thought, I don’t like what I wrote anymore.

I’d like to thank the person who posted the comment that said, “Your sarcasm is unbecoming, Charlie Brown.” It’s true! My sarcasm WAS unbecoming! The funny thing is, I don’t even like sarcasm. It’s just that sometimes, when a retarded book about mash-ups that’s like five years too late is plopped down on your desk, sarcasm is the only thing that keeps your head from exploding. Anyway, no more sarcasm for me! It’s all kittens and flowers and earnestness from now on. Hooray!!!

Love,
The person who wrote the sarcastic thing

P.S. I swear to god I’m not being sarcastic here! Really truly!

Comments

[nick]

great! whoohoo! thank god

wait that was book?....I thought it was an actual program?
WHY DIDN'T THROW THAT FUCKIN BRICK AT SOMEONES HEAD?

[nick]

what the fuck does the kitten have to do with anything?

also the quality of that picture is unacceptable. kittens are cute and that one aint

[nick]

also, if more Vice authors took the posters comments to heart like you have....how shit would that be?

[Kamikaze]

why the contrition mate are you banging Lucy Van Pelt?

[Earnest P Worrel]

i like this.

[Lucks Skla]

Vice taking back something they've written spells the beginning of the end. the only other thing they've ever taken back was a bad review of the spiritualized album with the ghost on the cover and that ushered in El Nino. the piece did suck though, the sarcasm wasn't up to snuff... did Kellner write it by any chance or is she usually funnier, I can't remember. anyway remember that review of the last Fall album or two albums ago I think it was? I hated that -
that thing where she didn't get to interview Bratmobile is a classic, but no one cares that she's "never understood The Fall" or what, especially when she only writes some snide little line's length opinion by way of explanation. it's like your older sister dropping some dumb proclamation about how the Cure was the best band of the eighties and then zipping away on a fart before you can argue with her.

Amy's micro-opinion on the Fall is as irrelevant as this: "The untalented one from the moldy peaches is still toileting out her awful alt zany xylophone music for emotionally stunted 30-something women who still act like they just got their first period. This new album is the sound of Kimya growing up and giving birth to a litter of pet cats... lesbs with media degrees can't get enough of this female Wesley Willis but to everyone else it sounds as gross and cat shit crazy as Whoopi Goldberg and Phoebe from Friends living in a pussy burrow"

there's no need for record reviews anymore when we can download whatever we want and decide for ourselves, your opinions are meaningless

[pixiestardust144]

"there's no need for record reviews anymore when we can download whatever we want and decide for ourselves, your opinions are meaningless"

bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ahhahahah

[Lucks Skla]

haw haw haw haw! text laughing to simulate laughing that isn't going on is boo hoo hoo! pee hee hee! yeah Lil' Guy do go on to re-read that sentence and explain to me how it isn't one hundred percent true

maybe back when music wasn't free and it cost about 2 hours of wages to buy an album it was a necessary service slash evil to have a bunch of strangers pre-jizz their opinions all over music we hadn't heard yet, but in this day and age it's pretty didactic and egotistical to think that we give two shits out of ten. the articles and recommendations are always fine, but you already got rid of the numerical ratings and might as well junk the whole thing cause the sneering condescension grates

[big words, small penis]

hey Lucks. you should've gone for "superciliousness", then you really would've sounded like a complete twat.

[Judas Beast]

I've got to say, that kitten picture is pretty weak. It stirs a wide range of emotions in me, mostly anger, tinged with a little bit of a rapey sort of lush, but thats by the by. Sort it out or I wont read your free magazine again. Probably.