New York - TV Snaps

We were pretty hurt when we were watching Butter on HBO the other day and they used Spin when they wanted to show the star had made it and was on the cover of a magazine. Fuck. Then we changed the channel and started watching the fucking amazing House of Carters where two brothers yell wigger stuff at each other and then fight. And when it's time for the star to be reading a magazine what does she choose? Oh Vice. That's all. And this is a reality show not some cockamamie story about a record company killing an R&B singer because she wanted to go to another label.

 

New York - Yasumasa Yonehara Retrospective

We're hosting an exhibition at the Reed Space NY for one of our favorite current Japanese photographers, Yasumasa Yonehana. While the rest of the country has spent the better part of the last decade trying to recreate Hiromix's high school diary for the umpteenth time, he's one of the few who've actually branched out and started taking photos that tackle Japan's increasingly complex socio-sexual issues--in his case by means of shooting picture after picture of half-naked girls. The show opens tonight at 9 with the expected free drinks and sidewalk spillover and runs to the beginning of January. Please RSVP to mrreed@stapledesign.com for the opening--space is cramped and limited.

Zwarte Pete

Everyone knows that Santa lives in the North Pole with his little elves and travels in a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer. But in Belgium they believe Saint Niklaus is from Spain and arrives in a steamboat manned by black slaves all called "Zwarte Pete" (Black Pete). Children fear the Zwarte Petes as they are the enforcers of the "naughty or nice" policy that the jolly bearded guy subscribes to. Kids run the risk of a severe thrashing from Zwarte Pete if they appear in the naughty section of St. Niklaus' twice-checked list...

Gangs of London - The Turks

That thing about "say a lie enough times and it becomes the truth" that Goebbels or Kaiser Soze or whoever said generally winds up being used by obnoxious middle-ground liberal types to condescend to the overly-religious or folks who don't believe in global warming, but in the case of London's burgeoning population of "Pakistani street gangs" it's sort of true. You see, there really isn't one. There are plenty of Tamil and Bangladeshi gangs with colourful names like the Tooting boys who get lumped into the general rubric of "pakis" by your average racist, which eventually filters its way up into the mainstream media to mixed levels of caring. For our second foray into Britain's gangtopia, we decided to sidestep this little lingual hotspot and focus on the guys running the heroin trade in which these smaller "Pakistani" gangs dabble: The Turks.

Canada - Hockey Goth

Canadians have a weird love/hate relationship with hockey. We riot when we lose and we riot when we win. It’s like we never learned how to properly express emotion in a group of more than five people, so we end up flipping cars over and setting them on fire and climbing telephone poles. If only we could channel our conflicted love for the world’s greatest sport into via some acceptable conduit of appreciation like this woman, then maybe the businesses surrounding our hockey rinks wouldn’t have to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars a year in riot insurance, and people wouldn’t fear for their lives when going out to watch grown men skate around and push a piece of black plastic with sticks.

Ballet Boot Camp

Riddarfjärdens Royal Ballet School is the toughest dance school in Scandinavia. Students have personal mentors that push them to the limit, both physically and mentally. Even warm-ups can be brutal. Half the students drop out after the first year because they can't take the pressure. Class is in session from 8 AM to 5 PM, six days a week. Those who get through the three years are almost guaranteed a place at the best of the best of companies in the world.

I just graduated from a school nearby and I used to sell hash to the dance kids at parties. I met up with ballet girl Nor, fresh out of the school, and I asked her to tell me some stories about what was going on there...

Tidbits - Women Can Pee Like Men?

In recent years a slew of devices have arrived on the market that allow women to piss standing up. The products, which basically amount to plastic and cardboard funnels that fit like guacamole against the ol’ pink taco, can be a godsend for gals who want to drunkenly spill urine on the side of a Volvo when they can’t hold it until home—just like one of the guys.

Nipple Quibble

Recently after performing on a stage, attempting 'comedy', I asked a couple of male buddies in the class for some feedback. Feedback was thus: "Can't tell you much dude. Didn't hear a word you said as I was staring at your erect nipples the whole time."

Now whilst I didn't appreciate the objectification (well maybe a little bit), I did appreciate the frank discussion that followed. Ladies, this just in: apparently men are concerned when nipples aren't in their erect state ...

Vice Kills Brighton Photos

We had the first of our Vice Kills nights in Brighton on Friday November 24. Playing we had DJ Prancehall, Ears, Faction G, Knuckles, the drummer from Dirty Pretty Things doing a DJ set, Maths Class, Ruff Sqwad and Man Like Me. Go to the photo blog to see some pictures from the night. The next Vice Kills is at The Plug in Sheffield on December 9, so come along.

Above you'll see a video. This is for David Sugar and Ears' new single "First OK" out now on Brikabrak records.

London - The Poverty Issue

One in seven Brits are scroungers who sit on the sofa in their underpants all day watching crap telly and eating Pot Noodles. New research has found that 15 per cent of the UK adult population live entirely on welfare. But it's not their fault, according to the report's authors. The myriad benefits currently on offer means that people can fiddle more dough on the dole than in full-time employment. So really, says the thinktank, it's the government's fault for giving them 'hand-outs' rather than 'hand-ups'. Um, okaaaay... Well anyways, check out The Poverty Issue for some tips and techniques for surviving in 3rd World Britain, including:

Feature: How to make it as a single mum of five